ETPCA Insight: From Hollywood To The Caribbean

FROM HOLLYWOOD TO THE CARIBBEAN:
34 Ways to Enjoy the World Without Leaving Europe

Often, I think of myself as a prospector, panning the rivers in a patient but largely fruitless search for gold. Now and again, amongst the silt, I find that golden nugget, and when I do, I have a certain obligation to share my findings with you, my local townsfolk.

My challenge is to pigeonhole the finest attractions in Europe into eleven categories, a quest that takes me around the many colourful landscapes of Europe and into the finest parks on offer.

Our voyage starts in Blackpool at a park of quite incredible vintage. With well over a century of history, this park is an absolute gem in the midst of obscurity. The writer in me tells me in the interests of keeping you on the edge of your seats to be reticent at this point and not actually reveal who wins this category, but to do so would be to dance around the obvious. Blackpool offers timeless tapestry of rides spanning a hundred years, yet is always the innovator. Put simply, it’s without compare.

Although it helps, a park doesn’t need to be a well-matured classic to be great. Modern theme parks like Port Aventura and Movie World Madrid seem to aspire to the American theme park culture, yet parks like Europa Park have built on this identity with the European charm that influenced Walt Disney over fifty years ago.

Few parks fuse rich themes with exciting rides quite as well as Europa Park, while Disneyland Paris has become the European epitome of escapism with no expense spared when it comes to elaborate story telling.

No genre is better at spinning a yarn than the dark ride. While the inspirational River Caves at Blackpool Pleasure Beach celebrates it’s centenary this year, other parks have embraced technology to take the rider beyond passively being told a story and into the story itself.

Pirates of the Caribbean has become one of the most highly regarded dark rides ever created – and not without good reason – although, it has to be said, parks like Efteling and Alton Towers have created rides that certainly show that Disney aren’t immune to a bit of healthy competition with Dream Flight and Hex: The Legend of the Towers respectively.

And while Disney have surrendered their monopoly on dark rides, the same can be said of changing a simple theme park into a resort. Indeed, whether you add a water park or a hotel, turning peoples’ day trips into a weekend break is a bandwagon many discernable theme parks are falling over themselves to jump onto.

Walibi Belgium has long had a water park (Aqualibi), but since then many parks have made the idea their own. Port Aventura have made the most of their accommodating climate with Costa Caribe, the majority of which is outside and bathed in Spanish sunshine. As well as tens of water slides and attractions, there is a smaller inside water park, El Gran Caribe, as well as numerous places to eat and relax.

Alton Towers’ Splash Landings resort takes relaxation even more seriously. The Carriba Creek water park fits a surprisingly large amount of attractions into a relatively small area, and once you’re done with yer dingy, relax at either of the hotel’s restaurants or, for the ultimate in indulgence, pamper yourself at the on-site spa.

Also, with several hundred rooms at your disposal, Alton Towers gives you the option to stay overnight on site at Splash Landings or the original Alton Towers Hotel, something clearly influenced by Disneyland Paris’ resort, which has one of the most extensive hotel complexes in Europe with six luxurious hotels of varying standards.

Meanwhile, other theme parks have since followed suit. The Big Blue Hotel at Blackpool is sharp, functional and good value, while accommodation of simply the highest order can be found at Europa Park and Phantasialand.

On our pilgrimage of this vast kingdom of theme parks, we must spare a moment to bow down at the throne of the undisputed king of theme parks – the roller coaster. But, who in this great and noble sovereignty is up to the challenge of monarchy?

Well, it depends. For universal appeal, Big Thunder Mountain has to be at least heir to the throne. There are few coasters where a teenager, parent and young child can squeeze onto the same seat and all fall in love with a ride that works so well on so many levels.

Another much lauded ride, Nemesis, has similar qualities. While it neglects the younger enthusiast, practical design of the surrounding area affords some amazing views. While the atmosphere is undeniably gloomy, there is a certain reassurance to the ride – it is smooth, never really leaves the ground and has a palatable ride time as well. That said, Nemesis doesn’t just wave a red flag in front of a bull. It grabs the bull by the horns, wrestles it to the ground and gives it a Chinese burn for good measure. This is a very, very powerful ride, and packs a lot into a surprisingly short circuit. Newer riders will get on with low expectations, but can strut from the ride with a confident swagger having realised they’ve taken on a surprisingly punchy coaster.

Dragon Khan works on a more basic level and just goes for that wow factor. While it relinquishes its domination of the sky to Hurakan Condor, it is the perfect centrepiece for Port Aventura, and is just as commanding and authoritative to ride.

I don’t know about you, but this continental globetrotting has worked up quite an appetite, but panic not, you can expect to find some gastronomic delights if you look hard enough. Coconut Grove at Movie World Madrid embraces the contemporary elegance of Hollywood and mixes good food into the fray, while there is nowhere more atmospheric than Disneyland Paris’ Blue Lagoon, which overlooks a moonlit scene from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Elsewhere on the resort you can enjoy Hotel New York’s Manhattan Restaurant, an elegant hideaway, a quieter alternative, and a great place to appease the most demanding of tastes.

Speaking of hideaways, Europe is a veritable treasure trove of hidden gems. While stretching the term ‘hidden’, Düsseldorf Kermis is to enthusiasts what the Crown Jewels are to the Queen. With 4 million visitors a year, you could argue that it is hardly hidden, yet the electricity and excitement of one of Europe’s largest fairs seems to remain largely undiscovered – hidden, infact – from most enthusiasts.

Although nuggets such as Belle Vue are consigned to history, city centre parks are still very much en vogue in mainland Europe. Tivoli Gardens, for example, strikes a delicate balance somewhere between offering a lavish day out in a beautiful park and offering the raw thrills of an exciting theme park.

While Tivoli Gardens celebrates the present, other parks look poised for the future. Pleasure Beach Blackpool has been one such example for the last century, and shows no signs of changing. The Beach has historically shown a shrewd instinct to surprise us all with rides that by rights simply shouldn’t fit into the park, while elsewhere Thorpe Park is still very much in the midst of a heavy programme of investment that is already starting to turn around an ailing family park into a thrill ride mecca.

Abroad, we have seen a tide of change already. Some of the largest parks in Europe including Movie World Madrid, the Star Parks and Port Aventura have new management, and although there’s little news from them, it would be naïve to ignore the fact that spending money will be one of many considerations in terms of turning these parks around.

So, while these parks set sail for the future, other parks have missed the boat over and over again. So, what park is King of Complacency? Who is driving along the road to nowhere?

Well, American Adventure is not only on the road to nowhere, but five years ago had a puncture and has since been stranded in a lay-by half way between the towns of Nowhere and Elsewhere. The ailing Derbyshire park has become famous for being busy doing nothing, and while ten years ago looked to have a future, has since added nothing of note yet removed several signature attractions.

And elsewhere, as much as it pains me to say so, Walt Disney Studios seems to be another lost cause. Disney’s rescue package includes a few juvenile rides and Tower of Terror. While nobody should underestimate just how much of an investment Tower of Terror is, the park needs more than one major ride to save it from anonymity.

Here’s the happy ending: Customer service. Parks like Oakwood and Tusenfryd have built a strong following through their grounded and human approach to the public, while parks like Disneyland Paris and Port Aventura have spent lots of money on professional and multi-lingual staff.

And while they’re minding their Ps and Qs, I will too as I bid you farewell. While this article has had the fairly elementary purpose of chronicling the discoveries of a single person (me), I hope that this article appreciates the diverse tastes of European enthusiasts by highlighting the equally diverse range of attractions found throughout this great continent.

Marcus Sheen

European Theme Park Critics Awards