PENNIES FROM KEVIN - Of Paramount Importance
Now that Paramount is creating yet another themed ride, Kevin looks at what other properties the company can put into its parks.
Written by Kevin Baxter
With the announcement of the upcomingThe Italian Job: Stunt Track themed coaster, Paramount is making it look like the highly themed Tomb Raider: The Ride was the proverbial leaf being turned over by the theme park operator.Tweet
So, what other properties could Paramount turn into reasonably-priced themed attractions?
Amazingly enough, Paramount has four possibilities coming out before the end of the year:
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events is the most obvious choice, as it will most likely do well at the box office. Add to that the books' popularity with both kids and adults, and you have a good theme for a family attraction. But what kind of attraction? How about teaming up with Sally Rides, maker of its popular Scooby Doo shooters, and creating a not-too-scary haunted house style dark ride? Paramount seems interested in family dark rides, especially with its upcoming release of...
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Paramount already has the rights to SpongeBob so they are already seriously thinking about making that dark ride themed to the obnoxious sponge. I think Paramount blew it by not giving its water parks a Bikini Bottom theme. While its current SpongeBob 3-D ridefilm is an okay addition, if the new movie does well they really do need to add a SpongeBob ride. I wouldn't bother with a dark ride, though. How about theming up their water rides? They did at least one of them with a Wild Thornberrys theme.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow has a great look to it, but not much is known beyond that. If it does turn into a smash, sequels would surely be on the horizon. What about attractions? Without knowing anything about the film, I could only suggest a themed coaster. We'll have to wait a month to see what other rides it lends itself to.
Team America: World Police has the least chance of ever becoming an attraction, but it is the one I am most rooting for. Marionettes in an R-rated action flick! Created by the brains behind South Park. Turn the R into a PG, and this could make one wicked It's a Small World satire. If the movie does well, which is far from certain. AND if Paramount has the guts to create it, which is even less certain.
Paramount may have the absolute worst website of any film studio! Some big moneymakers for the studio, like Top Gun, are missing while losers like Crossroads and We Were Soldiers are. So here are just a few blasts from the past - that I could remember, at least - with theming possibilities:
Mission Impossible and its sequel are obvious choices. But what type of attraction? With so many different action sequences in those films, the ride should be a hybrid, like a flume/coaster or even a dueling or racing coaster.
Star Trek has been basically overlooked at the parks, and I have to wonder why. Not that I am a big fan or anything, it just seems odd for such a huge franchise to be ignored. Universal used to have a fun live show where audience members could become "actors" in episodes of the show. Paramount has pretty horrible stage shows, so why not try something like this? At the very least, they would then be able burn DVDs of the show for the performers and make a tidy little profit.
Other properties are a little iffier. The Indiana Jones movies probably couldn't be used as they may have lost that license forever to Disney. Too bad as there are ideas galore in those movies.
Beavis and Butt-head do Paramount would be a fun addition, but WHAT kind of addition? Not to mention the duo have practically been forgotten. If the long-rumored sequel ever appears, which is doubtful, something should be done to get these morons into the park. Even dumping them into the motion simulator with a new short film would be welcome.
South Park would be a favorite of mine, but how could they create an attraction without losing much of what makes that show work? Not that the show is always profane, but unless someone can talk Trey Parker and Matt Stone into creating something with wit - like a short parody of theme parks, maybe even Disney theme parks - the effort might not be worth it.
If all else fails, how about Jackass: The Live Show? Audience members could compete in events like Paper Cuts, Snorting Wasabi and Pee Cone. No?
Hey, that's my two pennies... Gimme yours!
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