Top new attractions at a Comcast-owned Universal theme park
Published: October 1, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Comcast/Universal's House of Horror
Step into a darkened theater and slip on a pair of binaural headphones for this terrifying experience. You'll listen, in crystal wrap-around stereo sound, as real Comcast customers beg for the mortal lives, desperately pleading for a repair representative to visit their homes, sometime this year.
Travel to a lost Pacific island with a mad scientist who wanted to recreate a lost world, where all electronic communication travels via coaxial cable. But, of course, something goes terribly wrong and a velociraptor eats a network cabinet.
Revenge of the Mommy
Board a Comcast "cable car" and try to flee the city, as an enraged mother who's children couldn't watch "The Madagascar Penguins" due to a cable outage chases you through the Los Angeles area.
Men in Black: Piracy Attack
You and the rest of your cable tech crew drive around the city, looking for people who are stealing cable TV connections. Shoot down the illegal cable lines wherever you find them! High score wins the polyester double-knit "jumpsuit."
Grab a handful of Reese's Pieces and try to lure an alien to your workplace, in the hopes that an alien can decipher the Comcast technical manual explaining how to use the cable provider for the office's Internet connectivity.
Got any other suggestions? See you in the comments.