Top 10 reasons why going to a theme park is better than going to a football game
Published: December 22, 2011 at 12:04 PM
Theme parks are better than football games because:
1. You can wear a Disney shirt to a Universal park and vice versa without getting beer dumped on you or beaten in the parking lot.
2. If you want front row seating you don’t have to pay a higher price for your ticket all you have to do is wait a little longer in line.
3. Disney and Universal aren’t going to pack up and move out of town if the taxpayers don’t fund a new theme park.
4. You can use your season tickets to the theme park more than eight times a year.
5. You don’t have to stand in line to use the bathroom.
6. The pig snouts you will see in a theme park most likely will be on Hay, Sticks, and Bricks or Ham rather than 300 lb men wearing dresses.
7. There are no TV timeouts in theme parks.
8. A roller coaster ride is a great experience and not a season description.
9. Fantasyland is a section of the park instead of a state of mind for all of the wannabe Uncle Ricos sitting in the stands. (Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.)
10. Dumbo is a ride and not the beer-swilling, gas-passing, jumbo-sized person crammed into the seat in front of you.
These are just a few of the thoughts that came to me. Anybody else have any?