"Welcome to the Loews Polar Vortex, where you don't need to request a mini-fridge and the ice bucket is always full."
Uhm, no thanks.
For most guests, the two most important considerations are space and price, which intertwine rather like the coaster tracks at the Dragon Challenge. (For the record they will always be Fire and Ice to me!)
Granted, for some fortunate visitors with an Uncle Scrooge-like vault, money is no object. But, for the majority of us on more Mickey Mouse-sized budgets, there's a necessary push-and-pull between the two tent-poles of Room Price and Room Size. For a typical family of four (like mine with two adults and two Minions), the good news is… there are a lot of options! And the bad news is… There are a lot of options!
The purpose of this article is to give you some insight into your choices and hopefully make your selection just a little easier.
Just like hotels everywhere, most theme park hotel rooms will offer a choice of two beds (Double or Queen) or one King Bed. If it's just you and your wife, husband, mate, significant other, domestic partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancée, then awesome! Pick the King Bed, stop reading now, and go on to plan your drinking and dining.
Everyone else with kids, please read on…
Depending on the age of the children and your personal tolerance for whining, shrieking, or generalized complaining, sharing a bed can be no problem or a T. Rex-sized one.
Let's start with your options at the House of Mouse:
Walt Disney World Value Resorts
While the price is right for most budgets, no matter which Value Resort you may be considering, you're still staring at the daunting prospect of two double beds in a tiny room, averaging approximately 260 square feet.
A two parent / two teenager configuration makes sharing that room a scarier proposition than realizing you're the only two people to stumble into a scare zone at Halloween Horror Nights... then running for your life to the nearest indoor eatery and asking the server whether the scary people can come into the restaurant (for the record: no.) I mean, that's what I heard from other people, who are not me and my wife.
If you still dare to choose a double bed room, prepare for fun experiences such as this. (True story.)
The setting: Disney's All-Star Sports Resort.
Double Bed #1 contains me and my wife, sound asleep.
Double Bed #2 contains my then 10 year old daughter and then 7 year old son.
Me and my wife: ZZZzzzzzz
Our Daughter: Grumble grumble, "Mommy! Daddy!"
Me and wife: "Huh… What… Is everything okay?"
Daughter: "I can't sleep, he's drawing on my back."
So in addition to being a sleepwalker, our son is also apparently a sleep-writer. And has mistaken her back for a canvass. Or chalkboard.
Daughter: "And nowwwww he's slapping me."
The kind of hilarious laughter that can only emerge at 5am quickly ensues, starting with me, and quickly spreading to everyone in the room, including my son, who is possibly still asleep.
My best advice?
Call for reinforcements via a rollaway bed. Disney will usually accommodate such requests.
Disney Moderate Resorts
With approximately 314 square feet of space, Moderates are a great compromise between Value and Deluxe, with an upgrade from two Double Beds to two Queen Beds and a little more square footage, all for a modest bump in price.
When we're looking to save money and still keep everyone happy, Moderates are often our favorite choice.
We particularly love to stay at Port Orleans Riverside and Caribbean Beach, as they both offer select rooms with two Queen Beds PLUS a bonus pull-down Bunk-Sized Bed, which allows both kids to get their own sleeping space (and in our daughter's case reduces her chances of suffering through our son's sleep artistry.)
Disney Deluxe Resorts
Boasting between 340-440 square feet of living space and rooms available with two Queen Beds and a Day Bed, most of the Deluxe Resorts will stretch your budget, but in turn give your family more room to stretch out as well.
There are two exceptions to keep in mind: The Wilderness Lodge and Animal Kingdom Lodge.
Both are beautifully themed and have unique features not found in other Disney hotels. However, both are on the smaller side (at approximately 344 square feet each they are barely larger than a Moderate!) and your choice of bed configurations are different than the other Deluxe Rooms.
Both Lodges offer two Queen Beds or one Queen Bed and one Bunk Bed, which may not be the best choice for older kids or teens.
Family of Five?
But what if you have three kids, or you bring Grandma or Grandpa, or your kids get to bring a friend? What then? Well, let's check out some options.
As previously mentioned, Moderates can still work, as the Caribbean Beach and Port Orleans Riverside rooms with the Bunk bed will sleep five. As will most of the Deluxe Resorts, except for the two Lodges.
There are three other options we can explore:
The first is the Fort Wilderness Cabins, which will sleep up to six. The bedroom features a double bed and a bunk bed, and the family room has another pull-down double bed. Negatives include the distance to transportation, and the fact that the cabins could sure use an update. I know they're supposed to rustic, but the last time they were remodeled, rehabbed, or renovated, George H.W. Bush was in the Oval Office. (That's Bush Senior.)
A second (and much newer) option is also our favorite choice when we tote along Grandma… the awesomely themed Art of Animation's Family Suites. (NOTE: The Family Suites consist of Finding Nemo, Lion King, and Cars. The Little Mermaid section is comprised of regular value rooms with two Double beds.)
With a Queen Bed, Double-Size Table Bed, and a Double-Size Sleeper Sofa there is room for six to sleep comfortably in an impressive 520 square feet of space, complete with TWO bathrooms! This is great, because as those of you with little ones already know, in the hotel room they have to pee and/or poop at the EXACTLY SAME TIME and it's ALWAYS AN EMERGENCY!
Of course, this magical bladder synchronicity NEVER applies in the theme parks, as the kids take turns having to use the bathroom at the most inconvenient times, such as the exact second you are about to step foot into your train at the Seven Dwarfs Mountain after waiting an hour in line, or when it's their turn to meet Anna and Elsa. Not the best time to be singing "Let it Go."
The third option is the lesser known (but actually the original!) Family Suites, located in the Music section of the All-Star Resort. Though not as impressively themed as the Art of Animation, these Family Suites are the same square footage (520) and still sleep six, albeit in a slightly different configuration: one Queen Bed, one Twin-Size Sleeper Chair, one Double-Size Sleeper Sofa, and one Twin-Size Sleeper Ottoman. The Family Room is like a pop-up book, with beds!
That takes care of Disney World; let's roll down I-4 to Universal. With far fewer on-site hotel destinations (currently four, until Sapphire Falls opens next year), there are obviously fewer options than Disney provides, but Universal still offers some great choices.
Universal Orlando Value Resort
The only Value Resort choice is Cabana Bay Beach Resort, which has quickly become one of our favorites. Like Disney's Art of Animation, it provides two different room-type selections: Family Suites and Standard Rooms.
The Family Suites feature two Queen size beds plus a full-size pull out sofa, and can accommodate six. The Standard Rooms still have two Queen size beds, just no sofa, and sleep 4.
The price difference between the two isn't terrible. And the Family Suites here represent great value especially in comparison with Disney's, often coming in at least $100 cheaper a night.
Though do keep in mind at (all) Universal Hotels you will pay for parking per night. The final consideration to keep in mind when selecting Cabana Bay is that while early admission is a perk, Universal Express is NOT included.
Universal Deluxe Resorts
There are currently three options, with a slightly different price point for each, and Universal Express in included with each.
Royal Pacific is our favorite, due to the lovely theming, easily on par with Disney's Polynesian Village Resort. The 335 square foot Standard Rooms are the smallest in size yet still feature two Queen Beds. There is also the rather cool option for Jurassic Park Kids' Suites which feature a King Bed, a Sleeper Sofa, and two Twin Beds, in an appropriately T. Rex-sized 670 square feet.
Next is the Hard Rock Hotel, which is the closest in walking distance to the parks. Again, Standard Rooms feature two Queen Beds and 375 square feet. There is an 800 square foot Kids' Suite option here (*fixed), as well as a Deluxe Queen Room Option that adds a pull-out sleeper sofa and an additional 125 square feet of space (500 sq ft total.) This is where we like to stay when we bring Grandma along!
Finally, there is the Portofino Bay Hotel, boasting Standard Rooms with two Queen Beds and a bit more square footage, at 450. There is also a Kids' Suite choice here, themed in Despicable Me, that feature a King Bed and two Twin Size missile beds for your Minions, with 650-675 square feet. NOTE: Unlike the Jurassic Park Suites, there is no Sleeper Sofa here, so you would need to add a rollaway bed to sleep 5.
Whatever your destination, I hope I've offered you some useful insight into making the best on-site hotel selection for your family, whatever size or shape they come in... By doing your best to minimize any room issues beforehand, you can maximize your fun while on vacation. And one of the important components of that is making sure everyone in your clan gets a good night's sleep!
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