Published: May 2, 2013 at 1:10 PM

Is there any truth to the rumor that Jurassic park at ioa is getting a revamp or new ride?
Jorge Arnoldson

Published: May 2, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Some ideas could include a hunting-themed dark ride, an animatronic "You Might Be a Redneck" show, and a Dumbo-type ride themed to beer cans.
Robert Niles

Published: May 2, 2013 at 4:44 PM


Robert Niles

Published: May 2, 2013 at 4:46 PM

You could devote an entire land of the Blue Collar theme park to the redneck's last words: "Hey, watch this!"

The ride above would have to be included, of course.

steve lee

Published: May 2, 2013 at 5:06 PM

By the way, Carrie Fisher did mention that she had gotten a trainer. She made it sound like it was studio-provided. I'd link to a source, but your Google ain't broken.

Unless you were making a joke or something.

James Koehl

Published: May 2, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Now that Jeff has shown how little journalistic integrity he really has by reporting that Cedar Point is demolishing the Blue Streak without verifying his facts, here is the true story. A truck working on the new entrance plaza for Cedar Point was attempting to leave the area via a drive-thru that passes through the Blue Streak support structure. He forgot the lower his truck bed, and the truck did rather substantial damage to the coaster. Cedar Point is hoping to have the damage repaired in time for the May 11th opening day for 2013.

The present status of employment of the truck driver is unknown at this time.

Jeff, just because your local park, Elitch Gardens, doesn't have a coaster that can match Cedar Point's weakest coaster, please stop trying to tear ours down. It's the Blue Streak- stop showing your "Green Streak of Envy."

Sylvain Comeau

Published: May 2, 2013 at 7:07 PM

Jeff's cutesy rambling can be quite annoying at times...aside from that, my only comment is: what took so long for Star Tours 2.0 in Tokyo? Wasn't Tokyo an early partner in the development of the new version? Isn't it pretty much the same as the stateside versions?
Jeff Elliott

Published: May 2, 2013 at 9:36 PM

To the top comment's question about Jurassic Park....the latest has the unused overflow queue being used for a carnival game area and a new storage area....sorry......no new ride at this point....
Jeff Elliott

Published: May 2, 2013 at 9:45 PM

To James comment...

I had buried two news stories into one post. The old COO of Cedar Fair was reappointed to his position by a court. But since he is coming back under not so happy circumstances, it would be for the best if his office was nowhere near the other offices. Since they were trying to knock down the Blue Streak, I combined the stories...

Jeff Elliott

Published: May 2, 2013 at 10:04 PM

The comment about my "cutesy ramblings" made me laugh really hard...

...and I would rather be that than boring...

This is not a strict news article....it is a filter of the news that is out there through my warped brain....

My goal here is to try and making things interesting and hopefully funny....and sometimes just to enflame people....

Robert Niles

Published: May 2, 2013 at 11:23 PM

Epcot idea: Take " The Hat" from Studios, slap it atop Spaceship Earth, and use the projector to create the world's largest Jack in the Box antenna topper.

And, voila, we have the icon for the Blue Collar theme park!

Published: May 3, 2013 at 12:21 AM

Thamks jeff!!
James Koehl

Published: May 3, 2013 at 2:04 AM

Jeff,I had not heard about the old COO being reinstated by court order to CF. I have about as much interest in corporate bureaucracy as you have in themed restaurants- a vague awareness of their existence but nothing that I will plan my park visit around. If you really want to tear down a Cedar Point coaster AND provide office space for the COO, take down Mean Streak and build his new office on that spot. It is much farther away from the CF offices than the Blue Streak location and would remove the most dangerous ride at Cedar Point.
Anon Mouse

Published: May 3, 2013 at 8:51 AM

They can't say Redneck??? It can be racist. Better not have any Confederate flags or someone will sue.

Oh well. Good idea while it lasted.

The idea of a country western music park with plenty of beer and Hooters comes to mind.

Rides: Beer Scrambler - Drink 2 beers. Try to stay on without throwing up.

Mule Coaster with mule shaped coaster cars and country music piped into the seatbacks.

Published: May 3, 2013 at 11:03 PM

Blue Collar Test Track

You hop into your obnoxiously loud truck with a shotgun strapped to the back, both side windows broken out and spilled beer updated hourly. You ride simulating how it would feel driving after a 6 pack of Bud (though this would feel too normal for many of the guests). During the ride, you pull out your shotgun (light emitting, not bullet emitting unless you get the lucky truck) and shoot at badly animated stuffed game. Mid-ride, there is a 3 minute stop in a simulated deer stand while the 3 rednecks tell really bad redneck jokes on a 3D iMax video display (Low res to save money). Of course, no 3D glasses handed out (though this would feel too normal for many of the guests). Finally you finish the ride with a speed run with a broken tailpipe dragged behind you (though this would feel too normal for many of the guests). At the end of the ride, you get a free sample cup of Bud (Bud Light Light for the kids) served in a brown paper bag.

Outside the ride, two adjacent restaurants - One Hooters and the other an Alabama truck stop (though this would feel too normal for many of the guests). And a gift shop where you can buy a bloody life size plush animal celebrating your best kill.

Published: May 4, 2013 at 9:52 AM

For some reason I thought about Jeff Foxworthy's famous "You Might Be a Redneck" jokes and how it would be cool to have that in a ride with the same ride system as Cat in the Hat at Islands of Adventure or Winnie the Pooh at Magic Kingdom. As you go through the ride, you twist and turn through several rooms just like the previously mentioned rides only each room is themed to a specific "You Might Be a Redneck" joke.

If your wife's hairdo was ever damaged by a ceiling fan...
If you ever mowed your lawn and found a car...
If your grandma has ever started a fight at a local sporting event...
If you think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr...
If directions to your house involve "turn off the paved road"...
If your car has no wheels, but your house does...
If you have ever been too drunk to fish...

Just imagine all of those in animatronic form and you have "You Might Be a Redneck: the Ride."

Tony Duda

Published: May 5, 2013 at 9:42 PM

That above comment was funny. If you need more capacity for the ride, use the Doom Buggy system with all the cars decorated like junk cars, bathtubs, etc. Plus end the ride in the bathroom with the phrase "If you ever heard your wife say "Honey, could you get the transmission out of the tub, I want to take a bath," you might ...

Published: May 6, 2013 at 2:35 PM

The last thing Knott's needs is a 500 ft. tall iron ride, adding yet another eyesore to the farm's already crowded skyline. They need to put their focus on bringing in another family dark ride... the old show building to Kingdom of the Dinosaurs is screaming for some attention. That and continue to enrich their themed environments. They are on the right track with the new area for the Boardwalk, and they're done a amazing job in the recent refurbishments to Ghost Town. Let's hope they continue moving in that direction.