On the flip side, you will find the families with the timid husband and the loud, overbearing wife with a mouth like a sailor.
I posted a story a while ago about a guy who wanted to get other people into Spider-Man with no wait, even though they already used their Express Passes once during the day and the other people in the group didn't even have one....
I managed to get him more riled up with my completely calm comments about the way he was acting, then we cut right in front of this group in the Express line. They were still arguing when we came out, but other employees had come to help.
We decided to get right back in line again as they watched. I think I yelled out "Express Pass coming through!!!" just to be a mega-douche.
I simply said "That's really classy with kids around..." I don't even think the big lummox knew I was insulting him.
Soggy Bottom Boys - Classic.
We DO carry either a small backpack, fanny pack or shoulder bag just b/c we may buy a shirt or other souvenir & need some place to put it. Also, we generally carry sunscreen, snacks/water/extra film (YES I still use film! :) ), baggie for stuff we don't wanna get wet, a place for our sunglasses during the ride, etc. plus walkie-talkies if we get separated.
I used to wear those cargo pants w/all the pockets & that helped a LOT...til I got on the ride & in the sit-down coasters, I could barely fit in the seat w/my pockets full so I quit stuffing them w/our necessary stuffs & started carrying a bag but we don't carry LARGE bags, just big enough for what we may need but I do at least show courtesy by carrying my pack in front of me while in line for a ride.
1) The parents who won't make their overweight child who's definitely old enough to be walking off some of that fat, and who tolerate the child's tantrums when the kid gets upset that they can't sit in the stroller while standing in line for a ride.
2) Those who think using a stroller as a battering ram to force people out of their way is acceptable behavior.
My last trip to Disneyland was one where I encountered both. But the #2 type ran into a bit of trouble when he got a bit too aggressive and rammed an attorney who politely got park security involved and proceed to have them call the police because he wanted to report the man with the stroller for assault, so he could then sue him. Mr. Stroller was sweating bullets. In the end, the police were never called and the attorney seemed satisfied, so I asked him why he bothered. His reply, "I wanted him to slow down. And I wanted to tie him up for an hour or so, just because he was a jerk and dangerous." Bravo!
He was wearing filthy baby blue short shorts circa 1978 and socks pulled up to his knees with sandals, I'll never forget it. Ugh....
Two recent examples:
A. Pixar Play Parade, California Adventure. Sitting on the curb, directly across the street from me, mom sniffs and looks down the back of the pants (if you're a parent, you know the drill). But then, instead of gathering the child and bag and heading to the nearest restroom, she just plops him down right on the edge sidewalk and proceeds to take care of this blow-out. If that weren't bad enough, THE PARADE WAS IN PROGRESS, and I'm sure the performers on that side of the street really appreciated that site (not to mention the folks watching in the near vicinity).
B. Princess Dot's Puddle Park: Mom decides to just go ahead and change young man's entire set of clothing...of course, as he's standing there naked, he proceeds to present an offering to the foot of the stranger standing next to him.
Wheeled conveyance user (stroller, wheelchair, ECV) who MUST leave a large audience show at the exact same time as all walking guests, think Fantasmic! or closing fireworks. They only get in the way of a smooth exit by everyone and also ram into the crowded walkers and are oblivious to their actions. Just stay an extra 5 minutes, the masses will be gone and you won't have everyone's butt in your face.
People who stand in line for food for many minutes and never look at the menu boards until they reach the ordering cashier. Counter service at parks is slow enough without their help.
I didn't understand the 'reserved seat at rides' peeve and not getting to sit where you want. I always can sit in any seat I want as long as I'm prepared to wait behind everyone else who was there first and wanted the same seat. My favorite is the front seat at Space Mountain in Magic Kingdom, I just have to wait for several cars to leave before I get that seat. The ride attendants never refuse my request. I must not be going to the parks that don't accommodate requests or have a strange operating method.
I give backpack people a lot of slack, so long as their backpack doesn't look like they are taking a week-long trip to the outback or something. When we had kids we had a lot of stuff we had to carry.
I do hate the people who just stop walking in the middle of the walkway, or groups who think the walkway is a really good place to stand and discuss their next hour at the park.
People who get in front of you, with their kids on their shoulders or whatever, for a parade, when you have been standing there for ages. I had someone do this to me at the Magic Kingdom years ago. We got a good spot early, and some dumbass cuts in front of us, and proceeds to stand his kid on the trash can that we were standing behind. Very loudly, I said "Well, this was a good spot until some idiot put his kid in my way." Yeah, he left.
I've seriously seen kids that could have their learner's permit rolling in one of those things.
The other one I cannot stand is the couple (usually two ugly, sweaty 15 year olds who were dropped off and left to their own devices by parents more than willing to shirk their parental responsibilities) that just will not stop fondling each other in the 45 minute switchback queue to the park's number one ride. They look like dogs tied by the tongue. Ewww gross. Just stop, for the love of God, no one wants to see that awfulness. I have often considered giving one of these couples $50 to go find an alley and leave the rest of the civilized world alone. But then, I am sure the parents would finally get involved in their kids' lives at that point, if only to find out who made such an offer to their wonderful kids so they could sue me. Ugh! I honestly stopped going to Worlds of Fun on Friday and Saturday nights because of this unconscionable problem.
Anyway, great post, Derek, as always.
MIFLYs: Woman who try and dress sexy while walking through a park with their kids
Where's the Pool: People who dress their kids in bathing suits even though the theme park doesn't have water park
Poncho?: If your on a water ride, you need to get wet...don't wear a poncho
And if you are afraid the seat is dirty because someone stepped on it, you shouldn't be at a theme park, because those seats are probably dirty with a lot more than some random shoe stuff. Sometimes it is much easier to step on a seat to get in an out of a ride, because of the design. You just have to assume that solid surfaces are not up to operating room standards.
And I would put the "people who act out the rides" on the same level as people who sing the songs at a concert -- yes, YOU paid to fully appreciate the ride, but others have paid to enjoy things there way, and if someone wants to do a "rocky horror picture show" on a ride, I'm not going to yell at them or let it upset me. Having random non-ride conversations that interfere though, that is annoying.