Published: March 26, 2014 at 10:29 AMGood to read your articles again Jeff. Great to see your sense of humor and keeping us up to date on all the rumblings of the theme park industry.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 10:42 AMGlad to see you back, my friend. And VERY glad to see that you're keeping your tongue-in-cheek sarcastic sense of humor! I wouldn't want it any other way.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 10:46 AMJeff said: By the way, when your fraternal brothers said to “flog the dolphin” they didn’t mean for you to break into SeaWorld.
Are jokes about self-pleasuring really appropriate for TPI? This is one of the few sites I have always felt safe letting my older son look at by himself, because Robert runs it as a clean site for families. I think Jeff's article could have been fine without the need to jam in a "joke" like this.
I thought the bit about the new Roller Coaster Tycoon game was interesting. That's something new I hadn't heard about. I kind of expected a column called "Beyond CaliFlorida" to not have anything about WDW in it, since that's in Florida, but I did like how Jeff weaved little jokes into his bit about the Frozen meet and greet situations. It is strange that EPCOT gets something that people really like and they take it away, like EPCOT didn't know what to do with something popular.
I just don't understand the focus of this column, though, if it's supposed to be things outside of California or Floria but the column includes Disney things as well.
I loved the fact that Jeff didn't go to any dark places in this column but it would have been nice to not have the self-pleasuring reference.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 10:48 AM"... supposedly because the lumber was needed to set up a new meet a greet area for the stars of Frozen. Why they can’t be in two parks at one time I have no idea, but apparently Epcot is unable to deal with long lines and sudden popularity."
Thank you for this. The LOL just made my day!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 10:58 AMWonderful as always, Jeff! Thank you! The parts about the frat boys and WDW were especially chuckle-inducing :-)
Published: March 26, 2014 at 12:26 PMClassic Jeff Elliot. Just classic. You made my day, bro.
PS I didn't know what "flogging the dolphin" was until one of the posters explained it to me (and to any kids who might have missed the reference as well). Thanks for clarifying Jeff's double entendre.
And by clarifying, you are, of course, defeating the porpoise....
Published: March 26, 2014 at 12:18 PMAlso loved the Dwarfs/Frozen bit. That will be a classic remembered many years. Missed the "dark side" though. We need more of those Disney owned Star Wars Darth Vader references...
Published: March 26, 2014 at 12:52 PMI think James Rao is really funny. Clever puns like that are really funny and appreciated. I don't always agree with James but I like his sense of humor.
I just don't know why Jeff had to put a very adult "joke" into a story that was not about that at all. He was actually telling a good story about these kids breaking into the park, but then there was the adult joke. It made no sense.
Actually, that would have been a good time for him to mention to readers the time that some guy got killed at a Sea World (I think San Diego) in the night because he snuck in and went swimming with one of the whales. They found the guy in the morning and Sea World said he was drunk and fell in and got hypothermia or something. But, it seems that the animals killed him. This could have happened to those college boys who broke in if what they really wanted to do was swim in the tank.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 1:46 PM"If you are illegally in a park after it has closed, don't order pizza delivery."
Huh? It's a joke, but your description above talked about "late night beer run", Dipping Dots and Donuts and Dolphin Flogging. There was no mention about pizza until you just stuck this line in there. So there!!!
You're coming from left field. So far left. It isn't funny because there is no relationship to what joke you're making.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 1:53 PMI thought the comment was hilarious all on its own and required no further context. In fact, further context would have ruined the joke.
Here's some context for ya: How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a little boogie in it. Pbbbbftttt....
Published: March 26, 2014 at 1:53 PMJames: So subtle of an adult reference that few of us even understood it. Never heard the phrase myself.....So now you're clever. Never would have thought. But I guess your comments did have an ulterior porpoise..LOL
Published: March 26, 2014 at 1:57 PMAnon Mouse, I noticed the pizza comment also. In Jeff's defense, he was up until after midnight finishing this article due to a situation at his employment that has him working 12+hr/day. He's also dealing with a sick toddler and a dog recovering from emergency surgery.
Jeff, was there something that you can fill-in for us to make the pizza comment a bit clearer?
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:18 PMThe minute you start explaining jokes, they really lose their humor. I would just let sleeping "Jeffs" (and their sick kids and dogs) lie.
Until Robert starts publishing Anon And Annette's Laughter Is The Best Medicine column, we really have no choice but to accept the obviously inferior humor Jeff provides. It is a cross we all must bear.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:19 PMTo answer Annette's comment:
"I just don't understand the focus of this column, though, if it's supposed to be things outside of California or Floria (sic) but the column includes Disney things as well."
Please reread this part of Jeff's introduction to the article:
"And despite the title, that is only a guideline, and I will talk about whatever I feel like, and merely concentrate my efforts on topics that don’t concern a mouse, a wizard, or a whale. But frankly, if something gets my goat, it is going to receive a verbal “treatment.”
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:34 PMCareful, Mr. K, I wholeheartedly believe "gets my goat" is a double entendre as well.
A mouse, a wizard, and a whale walk into a bar. The bartender, we'll call him Hagrid, looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:34 PMThanks a lot, James...now I have to clean my keyboard again. I just spit my Pepsi all over the place!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:38 PMI don't even want to think about what Spit My Pepsi really means!!! Ewwwwww!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 2:45 PM@James Rao: You posted 5 times since my post and you explained twice why you won't explain a joke. You must think this is just hilarious. I can care less.
At this point, whether I get the laugh doesn't matter. The sentence didn't make sense. The joke is irrelevant.
Comedians do this all the time. They blow a joke. I can still appreciate a message that works. Many comedian do observational humor. The dearly departed David Brenner, who appeared on The Tonight Show, was the master of observational humor.
The humor displayed here is... ???
Published: March 26, 2014 at 3:38 PMI'm beginning to think that Annette & Anon are the same poster. Similarities galore!!!...LOL
Published: March 26, 2014 at 3:42 PMI'm beginning to think that Annette & Anon are the same poster. Similarities galore!!!.OMG, so many humorless people...Ooops, the dark side just got me. I'm melting...LOL
Published: March 26, 2014 at 4:07 PMRob: Okay, shall I call you not very smart? Annette expressed offense to the jokes. I said I didn't understand the joke. There's a difference. There is no similarity.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 4:23 PMStop it!
You're going to get me in trouble! I'm at work right now and I can't stop myself from bursting out in repeated fits of uncontrollable laughter because of this comment stream.
Some of it because it is intended to be funny, and...some of it because it is taking itself WAY too seriously.
Weird, weird day on TPI. Thanks for the chuckles, all.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 4:40 PMAnon & Annette: Just trying to confuse us, eh. Worked pretty well. I wasn't smart enough to pick up on the subtle difference. My belief is that the world is tough enough without having a good sense of humor. And I'll laugh at myself if it takes that. Heck, this is theme parks we're talking about. Why bring the dark forces (whatever the hell that means) of the world or other world into it. Sounds like a Marvel comic. And how the heck can someone be so against bringing up the dark side when they're big fans of Harry Potter, the "resurrected" boy wizard, and Voldemort, "Lord of Darkness". A bit of hypocrisy there me thinks.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 5:52 PMI hope that Fast & Furious: Supercharged ends up being an attraction. With the new minion attraction, & potter on the way, USH is making it happen!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 6:37 PMFast & Furious could be a fab attraction if done as an E ticket. If they do it at Hollywood, hopefully it will make it's way to Orlando..... Jeff: Your column must be an unqualified success. It gets way more comments than the average column. Keep doing what you're doing.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 6:41 PMNothing to do with Jeff, Rob. I was just a little.. you know... bored at work today. **wink, wink, nudge, nudge** If you know what I mean.
(What the heck do I mean?)
Published: March 26, 2014 at 6:48 PMJames, James and Rob -- thank you for adding yet more hilarity to a wonderful post. This is why I read TPI!!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 6:51 PMSorry!! The anonymous post with kudos to James, James and Rob was from me.... Didn't realize I wasn't logged in.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 7:24 PMOh, James, you are bad, just bad.... Hilariously freaking funny, but bad.... :-) Seriously, without a sense of humor, I don't know how I could live....
Published: March 26, 2014 at 7:30 PMWhy is there a picture of Tim Curry in a chef's uniform at the top of this column? Or is it at a college graduation? Either way, now I want to watch Clue again.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 7:33 PMMelanie; You get it, you really do. Heh, have a great day at work tomorrow. I smile every day when I awaken and look outside at the great outdoors, it makes life so much easier. And yes, laughter cures many ills.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 7:39 PMIndeed. Fun day. Jeff's column has great power to cure many ills. Nite gang!
Published: March 26, 2014 at 7:42 PMIt is been a rough week. James didn't mention a very good friend of mine in the hospital and 2 hour visits per day to go see him and give his wife a break...on top of everything else.
When I sat down to write this week's article, the only thing I had already written was the pizza comment, and thought it was pretty funny, so I kept it even after I researched the real story and it went off in a different direction.
I could have used the terms "boxing the clown" or "making number 3", but they wouldn't have had the right SeaWorld connection. I actually spent some time looking for the clinical term for "excessive amounts of love toward sea mammals", but couldn't find it. I am currently reading "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove" by Christopher Moore, so not saying something along those lines was like trying to stop an avalanche with a stern voice and hateful gaze.
The picture was from graduation for my masters degree. And I'm not from Transylvania.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 8:35 PMGreat to see these longer fun discussions starting to come back to the site. And, yes, ladies & gentlemen, we need to generate more discussion on the "Discussion Forum" like we used to. The forums have really died in the past year or so. It would be nice if we could restore the TPI discussion forum to its former glory. The past week has been a step in the right direction, and Mr. Niles has been doing a good job of keeping a couple of the topics flowing. There's a lot of good people on this site that are very well versed about the theme parks and their inner workings. Lets keep the momentum going.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 8:40 PMI've been gone most of the day, but someone tell me *how* this article got to 40 (now 41) comments.
Published: March 26, 2014 at 9:04 PM42 now James. Guess you'll just have to read the whole gruesome tale. At your own risk of course.....LOL
Published: March 28, 2014 at 6:40 AMAnother great column, Jeff! Thanks for the laughs! You and some of the commenters cracked me up. Even the complaint about the risqué humor made me smile because it got me reminiscing about the double entendres in one of my favorite childhood TV shows - Batman. As a kid, it was serious business, but I never understood what my parents were chuckling about.
Pussycat: "I wanna be alone with you, Robin."
Robin: "Alone with me? But why?"
Pussycat: "I can see a very important part of your education has been grossly neglected."
Robin: "Her legs sort of reminded me of Catwoman's."
Batman: "You're growing up, Robin. Remember, in crime-fighting always keep your sights raised."
Thanks to Hulu, now I understand.
Published: March 28, 2014 at 8:12 AMFrom Orlando Informer today; "Universal Studios is closing early for private events and Diagon Alley preparation basically March 30th through April 12th.....The good news is that these cancellations show how Universal is throwing more resources at Diagon Alley to get it opened in June"...........Robert Niles prediction of soft openings in mid May is looking even better with that news.