Published: April 2, 2014 at 9:48 AM

dude about your comment relating to potential injuries, my lap bar came up on the RIPTIDE attraction at Knotts Berry Farm, CA. I informed an employee, but all they did was bag the seat up. They didnt even apologize! lol. but im glad to see an article about this. thank you. i could have been one of them
Jeff Elliott

Published: April 2, 2014 at 10:35 AM

oooooo.....I just reread the article and noticed how many typos are in there. Sorry about that. I worked a 15 hour day and then wrote this, so the brain was shutting down toward the end when I usually proof. Hopefully next week's won't be so messy...
Melanie Howe

Published: April 2, 2014 at 10:45 AM

This one may have broken a record for the number of times I laughed aloud maniacally at my desk at work. Ninja squirrels and camp stoves.....love it! Thanks, Jeff!
James Koehl

Published: April 2, 2014 at 10:45 AM

Don't worry about the typos. Glad you're back!
Jeff Elliott

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:04 AM

So what you are saying Annette, is that it is perfectly okay for the next person to ride behind to get hurt because of an outdate sense of lack of rights for females. These are unfortunately the stereotypes that prove the rule. I would hope that safety of your fellow riders would be more important to us all than any insane preconceived notion that women should be silent.

Please, oh please, tell me we are way beyond outdated beliefs of the bad old days.

James Koehl

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:05 AM

Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them.

In Internet slang, a troll (/'tro?l/, /'tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a forum, chat room, or blog), either accidentally[3][4] or with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[5] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[6]

This sense of the word troll and its associated verb trolling are associated with Internet discourse, but have been used more widely. Media attention in recent years has equated trolling with online harassment. For example, mass media has used troll to describe "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families."[7][8]

Who do these definitions remind me of?

Jeff Elliott

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:10 AM

The creatures that hide under bridges and eat billy goats?
James Koehl

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:14 AM

That also ;+)
Robert Niles

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:39 AM

Wow, I'm an idiot. Next time, I will try to remember to paste an edited version of the column onto the site, rather than my first rough cut. My bad. Made some fixes.

Oh, and I deleted a comment from someone whom I'm now about to ban.

Nick McKaig

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:44 AM

There must be a substantial amount of cash flow with Universal right now, because they are building at a lightning pace in almost all of their properties.
Rob Pastor

Published: April 2, 2014 at 11:52 AM

Great to see the stalker/troll, or whatever the heck it was, is being banned.
James Rao

Published: April 2, 2014 at 1:11 PM

Jeff, when did the highly trained ninja squirrels get done with their coding work for Fastpass+? Or are they just taking on more responsibility with no extra pay?

Great stuff again, Jeff. Informative and fun. Thanks for taking time out of your busy life to provide a service for the rest of us!

Published: April 3, 2014 at 8:20 AM

The High Roller is open now. The cost is $25-$35 depending on the time of day. I'm surprised the cost goes up in the evening. The last thing I want to do is pay more as the night progresses to be stuck in a cabin for half an hour with 30 nauseous drunks.
Kelly Muggleton

Published: April 4, 2014 at 3:45 AM

I could actually picture the little WDW mice running to the car in search of Universal maps & tickets to make their nests with! :-)
Thanks for another awesome, very funny column.