Written by Kevin Baxter
Published: August 19, 2004 at 4:10 AM
So, what other properties could Paramount turn into reasonably-priced themed attractions?
NOW
Amazingly enough, Paramount has four possibilities coming out before the end of the year:
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events is the most obvious choice, as it will most likely do well at the box office. Add to that the books' popularity with both kids and adults, and you have a good theme for a family attraction. But what kind of attraction? How about teaming up with Sally Rides, maker of its popular Scooby Doo shooters, and creating a not-too-scary haunted house style dark ride? Paramount seems interested in family dark rides, especially with its upcoming release of...
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Paramount already has the rights to SpongeBob so they are already seriously thinking about making that dark ride themed to the obnoxious sponge. I think Paramount blew it by not giving its water parks a Bikini Bottom theme. While its current SpongeBob 3-D ridefilm is an okay addition, if the new movie does well they really do need to add a SpongeBob ride. I wouldn't bother with a dark ride, though. How about theming up their water rides? They did at least one of them with a Wild Thornberrys theme.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow has a great look to it, but not much is known beyond that. If it does turn into a smash, sequels would surely be on the horizon. What about attractions? Without knowing anything about the film, I could only suggest a themed coaster. We'll have to wait a month to see what other rides it lends itself to.
Team America: World Police has the least chance of ever becoming an attraction, but it is the one I am most rooting for. Marionettes in an R-rated action flick! Created by the brains behind South Park. Turn the R into a PG, and this could make one wicked It's a Small World satire. If the movie does well, which is far from certain. AND if Paramount has the guts to create it, which is even less certain.
AND THEN
Paramount may have the absolute worst website of any film studio! Some big moneymakers for the studio, like Top Gun, are missing while losers like Crossroads and We Were Soldiers are. So here are just a few blasts from the past - that I could remember, at least - with theming possibilities:
Mission Impossible and its sequel are obvious choices. But what type of attraction? With so many different action sequences in those films, the ride should be a hybrid, like a flume/coaster or even a dueling or racing coaster.
Star Trek has been basically overlooked at the parks, and I have to wonder why. Not that I am a big fan or anything, it just seems odd for such a huge franchise to be ignored. Universal used to have a fun live show where audience members could become "actors" in episodes of the show. Paramount has pretty horrible stage shows, so why not try something like this? At the very least, they would then be able burn DVDs of the show for the performers and make a tidy little profit.
Other properties are a little iffier. The Indiana Jones movies probably couldn't be used as they may have lost that license forever to Disney. Too bad as there are ideas galore in those movies.
Beavis and Butt-head do Paramount would be a fun addition, but WHAT kind of addition? Not to mention the duo have practically been forgotten. If the long-rumored sequel ever appears, which is doubtful, something should be done to get these morons into the park. Even dumping them into the motion simulator with a new short film would be welcome.
South Park would be a favorite of mine, but how could they create an attraction without losing much of what makes that show work? Not that the show is always profane, but unless someone can talk Trey Parker and Matt Stone into creating something with wit - like a short parody of theme parks, maybe even Disney theme parks - the effort might not be worth it.
If all else fails, how about Jackass: The Live Show? Audience members could compete in events like Paper Cuts, Snorting Wasabi and Pee Cone. No?
Hey, that's my two pennies... Gimme yours!
Also, now to the question at hand: Ok, maybe Paramount doesn't have the greatest film properties to choose from, but what about Grease, Sleepy Hollow, Titanic, or The Untouchables? I'd kill to see a Tim Burton-esque "Sleepy Hollow" ride at the parks (terrible movie, but awesome visuals and story/theme).
Also, some of their TV properties (Cheers, Happy Days, The Brady Bunch, I Love Lucy, etc.) might lend be a source of inspiration... not for rides(!), but themed eateries or shows.
It is odd that Paramount hasn't done more with Star Trek (aside from Carowinds' Borg Assimilator). They used to have Klingons and Ferengis (checking out "hu-man females") wandering around, but that was some time ago.
Since they lost the right to use the Outer Limits on the Flight of Fear, they should retheme it as a Borg cube. They can redo the queue area, which really is just a dirty warehouse with TV monitors and a "flying saucer," into a crashed Borg cube. Line the walls with Borg regeneration cubicles, which sometimes come to life--use the scary "Borg voice": "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile." Fortunately, the Federation has managed to pierce Borg defenses with a "Runabout," which will take you on a wild ride through and out of the cube, while the Borg try to snare you with tractor beams.
Seriously tho, I was thinking the other day that they should do an attraction where you get into teams of four and have to steal something from a guarded building by climbing through air vents and stuff. Give us laser guns to "shoot" the cast members acting as guards and scientists and whatever. Have each person in the team have a different strength, like one person be the computer person, one the climber, one the weapons guy, or whatever. Kinda like a cross between a Haunted House, a Laser Tag game and an adult's Adventure Playground. I know it would be one hell of a thing to create and not have any guests injure themselves, but I just think it'd be so cool.
Alternatively... Crossroads Karaoke, anyone? Hee hee.
They could move SpongeBob to the water park, and replace it with some sort of Mission: Impossible or Star Trek simulator in their action theaters.
How about a Zoolander style fashion show? Or a "School of Rock"? They also own the entire Jack Ryan series "Hunt for Red October", "Patriot Games", "Clear and Present Danger", and "The Sum of All Fears". I think the bumper cars should become something related to "Reno 911".
The other thing about Star Trek is that Paramount does have the Star Trek Experience in Vegas which contains a simulator and a 4-D Borg Experience.
And if they want to give a true stunt effect with Drop Zone, they should have a pay-per-ride where you fall off a tower into and airbag, or they hook you up to a descender rig. (similar to the Xtreme Skyflyer, except that you would not swing, you would drop straight to the ground and they would stop you about 6 feet short of the pavement.)
Robert, that isn't what I've heard about Sky Captain at all. It was originally supposed to open just before Spider-Man which Paramount finally realized was a horrible idea. The film has been in post-production forever and was only recently screened for a real audience, who reportedly spazzed out. Early buzz has been so good that Paramount has already told its creators to get to work on two sequels. It's already got the geek contingent salivating. It may not be blockbustery, but it should do well, especially if reviews are good.
Jason, you were so scaring me with the Sleepy Hollow talk. But if they can make a ride on the wretched Tomb Raider films, then I suppose they can do one for this too. Though I think getting the look just right would be too costly.
But your television properties are excellent. Not just for restaurants and stuff, but how about for land themes? PGA already has a 50's theme, so why not Grease it up? A Brady Bunch land (70's look), an Addams Family area. Better than the bland stuff outside the kiddie areas.
Ben, thank you for saying that about MI2. People were going on and on about how MI1 was so hard to follow - those people are lame - but MI2 was just stoopid to follow. A whole bunch of See-how-manly-and-not-gay-Tom-Cruise-is scenes connected by some of the most predictable mask-removals ever. All followed by The Fight That Never Ends! They may STILL be fighting that thing. That movie so annoyed me.
The spy stuff is interesting, but good luck with it. How about just turning the queue into a shooting gallery/training session? Fewer lawsuits I would think.
I knew I had seen a Paramount DVD lately and couldn't remember what it was until you brought up Reno 911, Ryan. Not the most famous series yet, but it does have rabid fans. So a smaller makeover, like your bumper car suggestion, is a good one. Otherwise I don't think its humor would translate well to an attraction. Though this would be another good show for the audience participation show I suggested. People would have a chance to act really goofy, which could be entertaining.
The Jack Ryan movies are also interesting, but how would they translate? Red October is really the only thing I can come up with, say an Alien Encounter set in a submarine. That could work.
Keep 'em coming.
I know for a fact that Paramount Parks creative types have toured the sets for the Lemony Snicket films and that a suggestion for a ride based on the series has been floated.
I hope the Lemony Snicket films are as wonderful as the books ... but I am afraid it may lack the literary quality that have made the books so wonderful. Afterall the stories of the Baudelaires have a narrative presence that may be difficult to convey in a film. Especially a film that is being promoted as a Jim Carrey vehicle.
On the other hand, a theme park dark ride could provide a solid creative team with that added dimension that cannot be conveyed via film.
A few years back, the Action FX theater had a James bond sim ride. The original film there was Days of Thunder. PKI has nothing in the way of Star Trek, and Addams Family was in the running for next years themed coaster. Italian Job got the nod instead.
There are a lot of possibilities for Paramount to go with. I wouldn't necessarily look for them to stick with their new films for theming purposes. There are plenty of classics out there that they can work with. I think that they should just move the antique cars, and retheme them to the Godfather....you gotta have a Godfather themed ride for the guys.
A rumor that has been going around in PKI circles is that International Street, the entrance area to the park with the Eiffel Tower, could be rethemed as Hollywood Blvd in the near future.
As for Sky Captain... September isn't usually considered a dumping ground. If they truly expected nothing from the movie, they would have buried it in late August. There are quite a few movies that have done very well in September, like Sweet Home Alabama and Barbershop, to name two very recent ones. But September does tend to be a time for cheaper, more adult-oriented movies, so this move IS a little strange.
Maybe they decided it would do much better with an adult audience than summer's teens. With Gwyneth and Jude and Angelina, this doesn't exactly skew to the MTV crowd. Which might also explain why they didn't move it to late October through December, where family films usually land.
Maybe the director was telling the truth when he begged to be taken far away from Spider-Man 2. One thing's for sure, it couldn't do worse in September than it would have done in June.
Also, I have Googled the thing all over the place and can NOT find any bad buzz on it. There are forum posters who say "iT looKs lyKe cRap" but every one who has seen it in one of its previews has liked it or loved it. That doesn't mean it will get people into the theaters, but it sounds like it will get good word of mouth if it does.
Regarding Lemony Snicket, I have not read the books, but is Snicket the narrator? If so, Jude Law has the role.
Regarding the Borg coaster at Carowinds, I have to argue that the theming there is much better than just slapping the name Star Trek on it. The sound around the coaster as well as the large Borg sphere are welcome thematic additions in a park that has way too little theming otherwise.
Regarding the actual friggin' topic, I have one serious question regarding all the calls for Paramount to do dark rides (and I'm on that list as well): do they have the technological know-how to do it? I've never seen anything really animatronic at a Paramount park (not counting Scooby Doo's tail outside of PKD's haunted mansion), so I wonder if they can afford it? Or am I being too Disney/Universalesque in my idea of what a dark ride is?
And Kevin? Carrey didn't ruin Seuss. He may have put a serious hurting on the man, but he didn't ruin it. Mike Myers, on the other hand....
I would assume Paramount doesn't have the ability to ever do something like Spider-Man, Men in Black or Tower of Terror. But there isn't anything that says they can't create a dark ride to rival Cat in the Hat or It's a Small World or even Pirates of the Caribbean minus a lot of animatronics.
Moneywise, I would assume $50M would be the limit, which is another reason they can't do anything major. It's not like they need to do anything innovative either. Tomb Raider is just a gussied-up flat ride. The Italian Job Stunt Track is just a coaster with a theme.
Paramount could stick to the staples of the amusement parks but theme them up and they would do fine. That's what the two Busch Gardens parks have done, and done well.
My nearest Paramount park is Carowinds. Their nearest competition is Six Flags Over Georgia, which is several hours away. Without direct competition, Carowinds doesn't NEED to do anything special with theming - they're the only game in town.
I thought the theming at King's Dominion was far better than Carowinds. They're both Paramount Parks, right? So why is one themed better than the other? Maybe it has to do with Busch Gardens Williamsburg being about an hour away (I decided against doing a trip report, because I realized midway through that I was gushing about BGW way too much).
Essentially, I think you hit it on the head when you made the "theme park"/"Amusement park" statement. I don't want to open that can of worms. That's almost like debating a film versus a movie.
So, that should explain, in part, why Paramount hasn't gone full tilt with the movie themeing--they started by playing the cards they were dealt (or bought). I'm glad they've finally started forging ahead.
Kings Entertainment got the option to buy the Santa Clara Great America after Marriott sold it.
But your $70M comment is way off base. The film cost $70M, but Paramount acquired domestic rights for a paltry $40M. So they should have no problems making their money back. Whether it gets to $100M is another story, but this film should do very well on the global market and even better on DVD. Remember that this isn't Universal or Sony or any of the other biggies out there who expect to hit $100M with half their movies. Paramount is a minor player and doesn't hit $100M that often. So when it does, they remember.
Furthermore, if it does get in the range of $100M, it wouldn't be the first film that wasn't a massive blockbuster that Paramount has themed a ride to in its parks. The Wild Thornberrys thing didn't make crap, Days of Thunder was only a mild hit and Drop Zone was a bomb and a half!
Paramount seems to be going more for movies that would make good rides rather than movies that were great. Otherwise, explain Tomb Raider, which was based on films NOBODY liked.
If Sky Captain does hit $100M, expect sequels (if Paramount continues to get it cheap) and talks of theme park rides. And that's what's important, right?
... Mainly because I just got back from seeing it. I wasn't overwhelmed. I wasn't underwhelmed. What's the middle ground? The film is beautiful, which is why it will sell overseas, but the biggest problem is Gwyneth Paltrow. She is seriously miscast here. Kerry Conran was clearly writing a Rosalind Russell type character, but Paltrow can't pull off the argument scenes without coming off as a total harpy. Not to mention a more-than-occasional dumbass. People clapped and cheered whenever any misfortune befell her, which is good for the film, but bad for the supposed romance between her character and Jude Law's. Angelina Jolie and Paltrow should have switched roles, as Jolie has far more chemistry with Law. But, if I was casting, I would have gone with someone a little ditzier. Lisa Kudrow would have been PERFECT!
There are minor problems, like a scene that looked ripped almost totally from the Lord of the Rings films. In fact, you could hear massive whispering as the scene started, undoubtedly everyone mentioning that fact. Also, some scenes last too long, while others could have definitely gone on longer. Still, the film has an absolutely uproarious final line and it never really stumbles badly, except for Paltrow's casting. And that will be dulled when the film has subtitles or dubbing overseas.
I don't think the film will hit $20M this weekend. I went to a late show and there weren't that many people there. But there was extended laughter and half the audience clapped, meaning word of mouth should be good. Releasing this film in September might help it, as its shelf life might be longer than it would have been in the summer. We'll see how much it drops next week.
As for a Paramount ride, I think it is now a must. I don't think there will be many people hating the film, and millions will certainly buy the DVDs, if for no other reason than to figure out exactly how Conran did all this stuff. If he loads up on the extras, this thing will be HUGE on the home market.
Even if it doesn't, the film's name will definitely be recognizable to most people who haven't seen the film. On top of that, the film is PERFECT for a flume coaster. It's unfortunate this wasn't a Disney or Universal film, because this could make a seriously awesome ride if proper money was spent on it. I'm not sure Paramount could pull it off on their budgets, but an attempt at Totenkopf's island would make this a 21st Century Jurassic Park.
Plus, all DVDs do not sell the same. Dramas that do poorly at the box office tend to also do poorly on DVD. Special-effects extravaganzas are often a different story. The Mummy movies, including The Scorpion King weren't the biggest movies at the box office, but were some of the biggest sellers on DVD. The Rock's movie did far better on DVD, and a big reason was due to all the "extras" they screamed about in the commercials. I think this will be big, if there are all that behind-the-scenes info.
Still, it just doesn't matter. Like I said, the name would be recognizable and it would make a great ride. It wouldn't be the first non-smash to become a ride. Just look at all the non-blockbusters that are rides over at the Disney parks!
BUT, as I was attempting to point out, The Scorpion King did do very well on DVD, even after basically coming up even or losing money in the theaters. Which kept its name out there. So when they had a Scorpion King attraction at USH, people weren't going around going "HUH?" Same thing could easily happen to Sky Captain.
Why are you having such a friggin' problem with this anyhow? Regardless of whether the movie rocks or sucks, or whether it makes $50M or $500M, it would still make an excellent theme park ride. I don't give a rat's ass how well it does. I want to see more themed attractions at Paramount parks and here is one choice out of the very few they have. And this ride could seriously ROCK.
Deal with it!
Judging from the computer animated Italian Stunt Job Stunt Track video, it looks to be an exciting, highly themed launch coaster...which is a good thing. But... who saw this movie?! I much prefer the concept of the Adams Family ride which would combine elements of a partial walk-thru haunted house, dive machine and roller coaster. This attraction would also incorporate heavy theming to create a truly unique ride experience based on a more popular movie/TV show. I hope this idea/concept has not been scrapped by Paramount.