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Top Reasons to Avoid a Disney Park

Edited: March 26, 2014, 10:56 AM · I came across this "article" today:

Personally I thought that, while it might have made a few possibly (but debatable) points, I think that every dedicated TPIer can either come up with much better reasons to "not go to Disney" or at least debate the reasons listed. So go for it-what do you think?

Replies (33)


- Walt's not really frozen under the castle after all. What a rip-off.

- Nobody can tell you what to do with your hands and arms at all times.

- You don't want to keep up with the party in front of you because, frankly, they smell bad.

- The last time you took a small child firmly by the hand, you ended up with a restraining order.

- If you don't go, the lines will be one person shorter for the rest of us.

C'mon, people, keep it going!

March 26, 2014, 11:07 AM · I for one am SHOCKED that a website called "Viral Travel" put out a poorly reasoned article designed to get people talkin' and clickin'.

Aw dammit, it worked again.

Top Reasons:

-Methamphetamines make you happier and are cheaper
-You can buy popcorn at the store, you lush.
-They don't even have REAL roller coasters.
-If I wanted "family fun" I'd go to a Sizzler.
-The blatant celebration of the royal family is abhorrent to everything we stand for in America.
-They MUST do something about that rodent problem.
-Fix that damn yeti, for crying out loud. They're an endangered species!

Edited: March 26, 2014, 11:14 AM · Because it's not a small world after all.... Kinda big oceans and stuff....

Too many folks farting in front of me in the line queue....

March 26, 2014, 11:16 AM · 1) barely any original e ticket attraction building.
2) tickets have become stupid expensive.
3) merchandise over memories
4) I dont feel there is any direction in what will be built next.
5) They Stitch Great escape still around
6) Yeti still broken
7) fast pass+
8) Avatar
9) lines
10) feeling less magical and more like cattle as of late.

March 26, 2014, 12:16 PM · Human carriers of every exotic disease from every corner of the world congregate at a Disney park just waiting to make you deathly ill for weeks.
March 26, 2014, 12:18 PM · TRUTH! The sickest I've ever been in my life was with the flu in July when I worked at the Magic Kingdom, thanks no doubt to the influx of South American visitors bringing their winter viruses to Florida with them.
March 26, 2014, 1:21 PM · R. Niles: "Walt's not really frozen under the castle after all."

I Respond: Well not under the castle, anyway ...

March 26, 2014, 2:01 PM · They don't have any traditional Roller Coasters
they also don't have a traditional ride like a pirate ship or a Ferris Wheel (this just apply for disney world
March 26, 2014, 2:20 PM · I'm allowed to sit in the center section first at my local theatre.
Edited: March 26, 2014, 3:47 PM · A visit to a Disney park ruins other, lesser theme park experiences forever.... And the worst thing about going to a Disney park is that eventually you have to leave.
March 26, 2014, 3:46 PM · Disney doesn't concentrate on the dark side enough. We need more Star Wars with Jedi training in case the dark side attacks again.
March 26, 2014, 4:18 PM · And now it's time for.. Really Bad Reasons on why not to go to Disney!
1. You have pediophoba (fear of dolls)
2. Some people might think the roller coaster seats violate every children's law ever made.
3. You rage easily due to insane parking fees
4. You can't ride Killiamajario Safaris because you are a Decromatic.
5. You have photographic memory and will not get 'Its a Small World' out of your head. Forever.
6. You are allergic to hamburgers
7. You think Mickey's ears are an insult to your family.
And finally, 8. The overpriced hot dogs!
All of these reasons are 100% jokes!
March 26, 2014, 4:39 PM · It's easy for me... my girls have outgrown it.
March 26, 2014, 5:25 PM · N B, that's the saddest post I've ever read.
Edited: March 27, 2014, 9:50 AM · Because you're a serious grown-up. Seriously. And adults don't go to places like Disney. And if they do, they certainly don't enjoy themselves there because Real Adults know there are more important things to do with their lives than allow themselves to be young-at-heart in a theme park, wear silly hats, enjoy rides, or grin when they meet Tigger. Real Adults got over Disney when they were in elementary school because they are superior to everyone else.

Because you're allergic to receipts.

Because going just means you are a cog in the corporate machine.

Because your spouse is in charge of NBC/Universal.

Because you have a fear of losing items on Space Mountain.

March 26, 2014, 6:29 PM · You're right, Jo... avoid Disney parks because the only people who go to those childish places are the young and young at heart. It's no place for mature adults with families, responsibilities, and 9 to 5 jobs. Happiest place on Earth! Bah humbug! Silliest place on Earth is more like it!
March 26, 2014, 6:31 PM · Oh, we're forgetting the number one reason not to go to Walt Disney World:

- Because you are a Marvel Comics character.

March 26, 2014, 6:39 PM · Robert: That comment was pure genius. Bravo!!!
March 26, 2014, 8:39 PM · James: You have never been so right. We all still have the happy child in our psyche. Like Peter Pan, we'll never get old.
March 26, 2014, 11:03 PM · More Mobility Scooters then a retirement home!
March 27, 2014, 1:45 AM · There you are after a 10 hour flight and a pad down by a grumpy immigration officer and you drive into WDW and what do you get?
Tired old rides like Space Mountain from 1975, an Epcot where every upgrade resulted in a downgrade, a slew of rides that tell the exact story of the movies you had to watch a 100 times with your kids (wasn't Walt an amazing story teller I guess not). Where viewing area's are sold by an upcharge to see what was once free for everyone.
The only impressive thing is the sea of strollers that can be seen throughout the park and the most amazing thing is the many infants that are torcher with unbearable heat, laud noises and flashes of light and strangely enough they aren't prosecuted for child molesting.
And on top of it, the handcuffs, sucking information , money and spontaneity out of your vacation.
And when you leave, broke and unsatisfied you are left with overpriced generic Disney shirts made in China and synthetic dress and plastic crown for your daughter and you ask yourself how you could have been so stupid to go to WDW again...
Edited: March 27, 2014, 5:10 AM · You should avoid Disney parks because when you visit you can't do the really cool/fun/mature/relaxing/smart stuff like swishing around $30 wands chanting "avada kedavra" (cool), or prancing around in expensive designer robes (fun), or giggling girlishly over singing frogs, animatronic owls, and dancing Beauxbatons (mature), or waiting in a two hour line to pass single file through an imaginary brick wall followed by a three hour wait for a family coaster (relaxing)...

...or paying a $40 up-charge to ride a train (smart).

Edited: March 27, 2014, 9:50 AM · Last time I went to a character meeting – Minnie hit on me. I heard she is a stalker.
March 27, 2014, 9:49 AM · Because Disney's frozen bananas are inferior imitations of the Bluth Original Frozen Banana.
March 27, 2014, 10:32 AM · In a nutshell (pun intended), prices-crowds-lines are insane. You are nutty for going. Nuts, plain nuts. If nuts, you should go where there are other nuts.
March 27, 2014, 7:49 PM · Can someone explain how the building being constructed next door to the Walt Disney Concert Hall (located like half an hour away from Disneyland) is an appropriate picture to explain how "there's always construction?"
March 29, 2014, 1:08 PM · Here is a reason not to go to a Disney Park...

Less lines when I go there!

March 30, 2014, 10:53 AM · Here is a reason not to go to a Disney park

Universal is better.

Edited: March 31, 2014, 3:42 AM · It is certainly far less crowded, Jaiden.
March 31, 2014, 1:31 PM · No meet and greet with Marilyn Monroe.
April 1, 2014, 9:14 AM · You're an energetic Yeti.
April 2, 2014, 9:43 AM · Daniel E. right you are! Look at my profile pic.
April 2, 2014, 3:02 PM · Hey Tony, that photo is enough reason not to go to Disney.

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