DISNEY
You'll have to look an awful long time to find a summer film that might possibly show up in a Disney park in the future. The Incredibles, the next Pixar film, won't show up until November and that is the most likely chance for an attraction this year. Still, being the optimist I am - hey, no laughing - I'll do my best to work through this summer's features.
Walt Disney Pictures has two films this summer, and I don't see much chance of a Princess Diaries 2 coaster coming any time soon. But Around the World in 80 Days does seem like it could spawn 80 rides. But it would have to get an audience, which is still in question. Jackie Chan hasn't done too well in recent outings, and they may have hybridded the plot one too many times. Opening two weeks after the new Harry Potter and one week after The Chronicles of Riddick, the movie has an uphill climb ahead of it.
Touchstone has three films this summer (what, you thought Disney would stop trying to release more movies than any other studio?), but Raising Helen has no chance of becoming an attraction. The Village, M Night Shyamalan's next frightfest, probably has little chance also. You don't see anything based on The Sixth Sense or Signs now, do you? (Come to think of it, Signs could be a cool attraction!) Then we have King Arthur. On paper, this seems like a good source for attractions, but go a little deeper and things start looking very questionable. First, the movie just looks ugly. That isn't a comment on the movie, because things WERE dirty and ugly back then, but ugly and dirty doesn't exactly have people flocking into the parks. Just ask Six Flags. Second, King Arthur is covered over at Islands of Adventure, so even if the movie was a mega-smash, which is questionable opening a week after Spider-Man 2 and the same week as Will Ferrell's Anchorman, it is highly doubtful Disney will ever create a King Arthur ride.
If we ignore Miramax, which never creates rideworthy movies, and Dimension, which is releasing two too-scary movies, The Darkness and Mindhunters, it appears that we don't have much hope for any summer movie-related attractions at a Disney park.
UNIVERSAL
Universal, on the other hand, appears to have many candidates on its schedule. We already know how close Van Helsing came to being a ride, and with sequels and a television series already on the tentative slate, one could still be on the horizon. Another good possibility is the previously mentioned Riddick. Unless this film totally tanks, it is already a tentpole as Vin Diesel has been signed for more than one film, hence the plural form of the word "Chronicle" in the title. There is a third tentpole this summer with the release of The Bourne Supremacy, sequel to the popular Matt Damon thriller. Another nifty car chase or two, and you have your ride.
But that's not all. Another hopeful for tentpole status is Thunderbirds which looks pretty damn cool. It will have to be to do well in August, which is often the month for blockbuster wannabes. Universal's other film this summer has no hopes of becoming a tentpole, but it does have a chance of becoming a big family movie. Two Brothers, a film about two tigers, seems like the kind of live-action animal-film Disney used to make. And who doesn't love tigers? What people might not love is its premiere date, which is five days before another family film, the aforementioned 80 Days. If Brothers does well, it could be the shocking nail in that epic's coffin. Still, a Universal attraction is quite the long shot. Now if this really were a Disney film...
DreamWorks, which distributes its films through Universal, isn't being much help. Tom Hanks's The Terminal, Tom Cruise's Collateral and Anchorman should all do well, but park material they ain't. Shark Tale, the computer-animated comedy, won't be out until fall. Still, DreamWorks isn't being totally unhelpful, as Shrek 2 promises to be a smash, which should help drive people to Shrek 4-D at the Studios parks. Sony is doing their part also, releasing Spider-Man 2, which should be a huge commercial for the greatest ride in existence.
PARAMOUNT
Yes, Paramount. I know most of their "themed" rides are themed in name only, but after the success of Tomb Raider: The Ride, the theme parks seem intent on putting a little more effort into theming. In fact, 2005 may see a dark ride/coaster, a la Revenge of the Mummy, themed to either The Italian Job or The Addams Family, if recent online polls are any indication (I bet you were wondering about the third word in the title up there, weren't you?). Both could be quite cool. And by both, I mean tear down the awful Grizzly in PGA and build BOTH these rides! Right now!!!
So could this year offer future thrills? Possibly, and that doesn't even count 2004 latecomers SpongeBob SquarePants or Lemony Snicket. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is getting major buzz, but may be hampered by the same opening date as Two Brothers. Not so much that the tigers will tear up Jude and Gwyneth and Angelina, but that Spidey certainly will in five days.
That's about all. Which movies have you interested in them? Because it is your interest that may lead them down the path to your favorite theme park.
Disney's "Home on the Range" looks like it would make for quite a fun attraction. Sort of on the lines of Mr. Toad.
In a previous thread, you mentioned an attraction surrounding Dawn of the Dead. I think, had Universal jumped on the band wagon sooner, this would have been the scariest of all--better than the Mummy, in fact. Man, I didn't even like the mummy movies. I just hope Universal will do it up right.
As for Grizzly ... Hmmmm ... er ... Gotta keep it. If ya know what a 'bear' meeting is, you will know this to be the TOP attraction at both PGA and PKD. If it were not there, the 17,000+ member 'bears' would hold their monthly meetings at other parks.
I'm kind of skeptical about going ahead with a Van Helsing attraction, since that movie has major suck potential. I hope it doesn't, but let's wait and see...
One of the parks should do a Dodgeball kiddie play area. I don't think I'd ever leave it.
I think 20th Century Fox could name their price for the licensing of an Alien vs. Predator dark ride. Who wouldn't want that?
I think you can add The Holy Land Experience to the list of Orlando heavy hitters after they finish building The Passion of the Christ: The Ride!
I just saw Hellboy last night and I really hope that it becomes something of a series of films. A Hellboy attraction in any park would be quite a sight to see, if they don't go cheap on it.
Or we could get silly with this: Disney could set up a row of those motorized horsey things they have in front of supermarkets and call that Hidalgo.
Home on the Range along the lines of Mr. Toad? In our dreams. But maybe a cleverly themed restaurant.
A Punisher shooting gallery in Marvel Island would be cheap to make.
Or how about a The Whole Ten Yards attraction; where you pay a park attendant $10 and then they kick you in the balls as hard as they can.
Also, didn't that Pirates of the Caribbean movie do well for Disney last year? They should think about making that into a ride.
(Oh my God, I'm really bored.)
Oh, wait... They have. Twice.
I'm betting, much to my own surprise, on Riddick. I thought a sequel/prequel/whatever to Pitch Black was a questionable idea considering the first film wasn't really that successful (it lived a good DVD life, but theatrically speaking, it was barely there), but the trailers show some real promise. I have to believe that the studio bosses greenlit this thing based on one helluva premise as opposed to "oooh! A Vin Diesel franchise!"
Can it translate? Well, I have no clue whatsoever what the crap the flick is about. But that's never stopped them from theming rides, has it?
About the "cocking up"... I immediately thought of the two current disaster attractions and realized both of them are better than the films they are based on, and an attraction based on a Roland Emmerich film would undoubtedly follow in that tradition.
As for my requested Dawn of the Dead attraction... the film has fallen greatly since its great opening and shouldn't get near the magic $100M mark. Meaning it isn't going to get anywhere near the classic status of the original. So a HHN presence is all we should expect.
