Theme Park Insider's 2011 Year In Review - June
Written by Jeff Elliott
Note: The editor of these articles has insisted that I make the soon to be obvious point that while there may be some real news in here, the key to these articles is a sense of humor. While your own recollection of these stories may be a little different than what is presented below, your recollection is quite possibly closer to truth. While it was requested that I keep to the facts, I realized quite quickly in this process that 1) Who needs facts when made up stuff is much fun to write and 2) Scribbling incoherent thoughts is very calming.Tweet
June, the month where instead of making announcements or building things, those of us theme park geeks can actually get off the couch and make an appearance out our favorite theme park before heading home and deriding it in a public forum on the internet for the perceived lack of quality and attention to detail. Since we are all out there doing instead of speculating or reporting, there is very little going on this month.
The captain has turned off the no-fooling-around sign. Please feel from to move about the cabin and fool around to the greatest extent of your abilities. Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. And if a window gets broken again while we are at altitude, I am going to be very upset….again…...
Theme Park Insider's Year In Review – June
Nothing helps you deal with the current press of visitors like looking at last year's attendance figures. This month, the TEA/AECOM Global Attractions Report was released that showed anything even remotely associated with Harry Potter garnered huge attendance gains even if the attraction wasn't at that specific park. Anything associated with Disney held fairly steady at the top of the food chain. And everything associated with Killer Whales and Sea Lions, dropped off sharply. What we can extrapolate from this report is that SeaWorld needs to dump the whole sea creature thing and start building attractions based on pimply faced kids that know how to shake their wands, and, no, Perry Otter and the six foot mice is not going to cut it. What is also interesting is that among the seasonal parks, Cedar Fair is standing tall well above the Six Flags parks, which of course happens when every single Six Flags park has the same exact rides. You know, now that I am looking at the figures a second time, what I find is that the parks with major fires in the last year are the ones that did the best, so therefore a good conclusion would be to build attractions with tissue paper, purchase motors that heat up excessively, use poor and low grade electrical wiring, and the old standby of free matches for kids.
So there you have it: June. If you don't remember the month like I do, please set a monkey-boy straight in the discussion below.
All monkey pictures have been lovingly borrowed from the amazing artist Frank Cho and his long deceased comic strip Liberty Meadows. Monkeys were harmed during the production of this article, but they really enjoyed… trust me….
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