April 18, 2013, 2:32 PM · Disneyland – Whose genius idea was it to name a yearlong event “Limited Time Magic”? It implies that the magic ends at some point, which, at Disneyland, it should never end. Didn’t they think about making the negative word into a positive word and go with “Exclusive Magic”, that way you are adding and not just taking things away. Just as an FYI, I would be more than happy to work for Disneyland, feel free to contact me through the Theme Park Insider website, and I promise I will keep you from having to sleep in the mud pit you dug out for yourself. Also, I might be a little nicer if I worked there…maybe…but no promises. So. Anyway. Limited Time Magic. Tinker Bell and her trashy looking friends are making an appearance April 15th-21th. If this makes or breaks your vacation, be sure to get down there before Sunday. Not to get off on another rant, but I thought that in the Peter Pan movie, she was pretty much awful, spiteful, jealous, and, frankly, a B-word that I am itching to say, but for some reason she is nice now and pleasant, and one of the icons of the company when Mickey is out of action trying to deal with an 85-year platonic relationship. I don’t understand it. In other news, Iron Man Tech presented by Stark Industries opened this last week inside Innoventions and we are starting to hear rumors about this park getting a Tron LightCycle roller coaster as well as an Oz land…but those are just rumors at this point.
Disney’s California Adventure – I want to thank everyone for voting with their feet. By paying your admission and getting butts in seats at the new rides and stressing out the throughput of this park, you know have some executive types pondering some of the original plans for the park and already talking about how to add more attractions. Things that are currently being pondered are the old idea for a Monstropolis roller coaster and updating MuppetVision.
Disney’s Animal Kingdom – As a special treat to celebrate the park’s 15th anniversary, here is a special video showing the workers not putting in the bolts all of the way so that the limbs later fall off.
Star Wars Universe – Disney let the cat out of the bag on their strategy on Star Wars movies. We are going to get a new one every year starting in 2015. They are going with a schedule of every other year on the “main” storyline and the in-between years will be on spin-off movies (like the theorized Yoda, Han Solo, and Boba Fett movies). Their plan is to keep making a Star Wars movie per year until they don’t make any more money.
Universal Orlando – For those of you who don’t go to theme parks to be entertained by the rides, they have an augmented reality application that you can use inside the parks instead of riding rides.
Kentucky Kingdom - This soon to be resurrected park now have been approved for all of the funding from the state that they are going to get. Now the real work begins. Good luck! And please let us know how it’s going and who needs to be kneecapped to keep this project on track.
Dollywood – We have confirmed that Dollywood is indeed getting a new roller coaster for next year, although in the process we disproved the leading theory on what kind of coaster they were going to get, namely a Europa Park Blue Fire style coaster. The fallback rumor is that they are going to get something similar to Outlaw Run by Rocky Mountain Coasters. I expect to be impressed either way.
Busch Gardens Tampa – We are starting to assemble some pieces to a puzzle that we don’t quite have all of the corners to yet. But from the looks of things, all of the rides in the Timbuktu section are closing down all at the same time. I am holding out hope for a Somalia section with a gang warlord and rides that actually threaten to hurt people. They will also save a lot of money not having to build any restaurants.
California’s Great America – Gold Striker is so hard to report about. It isn’t the tallest, the fastest, and it doesn’t have corkscrews, but what they do have is a piece of CGA artwork that just happens to have a coaster train rolling around the inside of it. I love CGA coasters! They pack so much thrill into a little space and then don’t let up until the break run. They are not really headline news, but certainly an excellent roller coaster. As they should be, they are so proud of their new coaster that they strapped a camera to the first run through. Enjoy!
Drayton Manor – The park is attempting to break the world record for most people in the same place wearing a onesie. I hate to be the first to go on record and let everyone know that this is a bad idea because, frankly, it is going to scare the kids. I have a better idea -- one that is sure to pack the guests into the park instead of scaring them away: the world record for the most hot women in one place. Or maybe the most hot AND single women in one place. Then again, maybe Drayton Manor's not the best place to try that stunt, because Thorpe Park's recent attempt to set a similar record for the most hot and single British women in one place failed when Pippa Middleton decided to fly to Vegas instead.
Six Flags Over Georgia – In the same week that they are talking about closing the Scooby Doo ride in Six Flags (nowhere near) St. Louis, they are talking about putting a Scooby Doo ride into Six Flags Over Georgia. Look, I understand that Scooby Doo is an iconic classic cartoon character, but really? Scooby was cool in the 1970’s when you knew what drugs the kids were taking to make them think that a dog was talking. Since then, we really can’t tell. But why recycle this tired old character when there are great characters that have never had a chance at a theme park ride. Some of these characters could be gotten for dirt cheap, like the Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain. They are all owned by the Warners, so it’s not like you are stepping on someone else’s toes here. I think you neglect to remember how good they were… I have seen this a hundred times or more, but it still makes me laugh…“I don’t want funny ‘haha’, I want funny ‘ut-oh’”…..classic….and I love how they dance around rights issues with Illinois Smith and Old Screamer instead of Old Yeller.
Six Flags Magic Mountain – The park is hinting that they may push back the Iron Horse treatment on Colossus back a little back do to some other massive project they have in the works. Only time will tell, but I get irritable when places spend so much on rides and then turn around and get sued by their employees for poor working conditions, lack of decent wages, and unpaid overtime.
Six Flags Mexico – There is another rumor about the next park to get an Iron Horse makeover. Medusa is now in the rumor mill as being in the queue for some steel rails.
Silver Dollar City – Speaking of Iron Horse treatments, here is a short documentary on Outlaw Run.