A theme park gift under $10? Theme Park Insider: 2016 Year in Review
Tourists. The hundreds of thousands of people that flock to theme parks throughout the year, and when groups of burnt-out vacationers gather in mass throngs, predictable trends occur.
I'm going to start the list with a couple of types of people I see every time I'm at a theme park. They can be smart, stupid, funny, annoying, or just plain predictable, but my visits wouldn't be the same without 'em.
1) The Water Lovers
These tourists seem to be attracted to water like a hyperactive kid who forgot his Ritalin. It's maddening, because these same people that flock to anything that drenches you will also leave the park at the first site of clouds. Examples of hangouts include:
Water rides with squirt guns
Water rides with splashdowns for non-riders
That stupid AT-AT outside Star Tours
2) The Seemingly-Deaf Middle Seat Thieves
Not only do these people push their way to the front of the entrance doors in the lobbies of theater attractions, but then decide to ignore the pleads from the employees to "move all the way down the rows, filling all available seats". They figure it's their right to sit where they please, no matter how many passers-by they inconvenience.
3) "The Guy"
In college, we've come to known "the guy", or "that guy", as the person who makes an @ss of himself/herself at parties. They typically ruin pictures by jumping in front of the camera, or put an end to drinking games by knocking over the table. The same situations also apply to theme parks. They cause interruptions during theater shows by using flash photography. They stand up during attractions, causing the vehicle to stop abruptly. They flash their chests or their middle fingers at on-ride photos, causing the photo to be removed. The guy can make or break your day.
4) The Inner Tube Failures
Typically at water parks. These folks always seem to feel that the best way to mount an inner tube is to put it behind themselves and jump backwards and upwards onto it, resulting in flips and bails, which can often be hilarious.
5) The Wannabe Park Historian
Usually found in queue lines. This jackass loves to boast loudly and proudly about attraction history and specifications. This usually entails engineering specs (like height and speed) for roller coasters, celebrity info (like cameo voice-overs) at theater attractions, and the like. They also usually brag about their season pass, and despite being quite outgoing and talkative, are rarely found with any friends/family.
Continue the list! What do you think?
The Parents- There are lots of parents at these places, but I'm talking about the ones who flip out on their children right in the middle of the walkway. They turn psycho out of nowhere, and either belittle or smack their child. If you can't handle them, than stay at home. They are either tired, hungry, or you are pushing them to do something they don't want to do. Either that or they are the little monsters you've allowed them to become. By the way, I'm a parent of 3, so I'm qualified to speak of this.
The Children- I like to see the kids faces at the park. It puts a smile on my face. Most make me happy. But there are those that do this...
Don't look where they are going and run into you
Stink beyond all belief (see previous character)
Come up to you and beg for quarters for video games
The Complainer- The ones who verbally and loudly complain about waiting in line or being inconvenienced in any way. Usually but not always affluent guests, they make hotheaded scenes in front of large groups of people and are usually in the wrong on their complaints. They like to get the supervisor, and they don't care if they hold up large groups of people to get their way.
In regards to the theme park historian comment. I consider myself to be a historian. Not the kind that blabs in line, but the kind who has actually studed the subject in depth. Many times these blabbermouths are wrong, and if they are too annoying, I have little problem correcting them.
2)The fanny pack dad with mouse ears and two mist fans on his hip. This guy is a guy to watch out for, he is a purist who has never grown up and still lives at home with his parents.
3)The enormous Fat Lady that insist that she can fit into a ride, not knowing she is crushing her 5 year old who is sharing the seat. This women should be approached carefully, make sure you have no visible food in hand or you might lose an arm.
4)The tour group, usually made up of your Spanish specking teens. This a group that must be avoided at all cost. If you enter a park and they are headed toward the section you usually go to first, immediately move to plan B. Being in line with this group could cause great trauma to your central nervous system.
5) The no personal space in line person. This is the person who at first you think is trying to mate with you but you later find out they are just idiots who have never been thought manners.
The Couple Who Won't Get a Room- You know the kind. Most of the time they are teenagers which is bad enough, but sometimes they aren't, and that's just gross. Watch out for this pair...especially in a dark line.
The Skin- Like to distinguish themselves from the crowd with no shirt. There are other features common with this species...tattoos, mullets, hairy ape-like tendencies. Seen in abundance in the midwest/Ohio area, but believed to be everywhere.
Chong- Found in dark indoor queues, fond of the wacky tabacky. You may or may not want to avoid this guy.
The Underdresser- Some articles or sizes of clothing should require an application process to wear. Most of these would be denied. Having no regard for the eyesight of others, they wear things to the park that they have no business wearing, which commonly contain words like "juicy" and "hottie" and are usually 2 to 10 sizes too small.
Someone already covered the in-line complainers, but let's not forget the folks who complain that stuff is expensive (obviously guests at Holiday World are exempt from this rule). Of course stuff is expensive. You're a captive audience. These are the same people who complain that popcorn is too expensive at the movie theatre (hello, the theatre has to pay its bills somehow).
Brian, the men with socks and sandals always get my attention (for the wrong reasons). And I suppose they think because the socks are black that they are less conspicuous!?! And I don't call them speedos, I call them spee-don't's...enough said.
And why is it the "no sense of personal space" person in line behind me always seems to be the one who doesn't own a bar of soap or deoderant???
And Derek, the "underdresser" description gave me a good laugh as well. Even my DH, who rarely wastes his energy commenting on the appearance of other human beings, has on a couple of occasions mentioned how unflattering the overly tight clothing is on some of these (usually) young girls. Usually his comment includes some dialog about "muffin tops" or "rolls". I thought maybe he was just craving some carbohydrates!?!
To elaborate on Brian's:
6) The Fanny Family
This group looks like they're ready to cross the ocean. They usually slow the ride loading/unloading process because they have to collect their several hundred items, up to and including backpacks, strollers, souvenirs, water bottles, purses, guide books, pup tents, walking sticks, Pal Mickeys, and Sherpa mountaineer guides.
And to continue the list:
15) The "Where The Hell Are We?" Traveler
This individual has likely been to many theme parks before but fails to research the one they are currently at. They seem to recall being on an attraction at this park that resides in a different location, often in a different state/province. For example, they may be visiting Magic Kingdom and ask where E.T. Adventure is.
16) What's In a Name?
These folks can't seem to remember simple names for attractions and either butcher the name horribly or make up their own. They're usually from Texas, and they are most commonly found in Disney World.
For example, "Let's go to:
that African safari ride"
Mission to Mars"
the giant golf ball"
The Rock & Roll Roller Coaster"
the car show"
the one where you go upside down"
17) That's Changed Since I Was Last Here ...
Even if absolutely no changes have been made to an attraction in the past 20 years, there are always those who are absolutely positive that the attraction they just experienced is different than when they last experienced it. Usually heard at ride exits. Examples include:
"That used to go faster"
"They added a new dinosaur since last time"
"It used to go upside down"
"They took away the fiery pit!"
18) The Sneak
Usually under the age of 13 with no concept of waiting patiently. Often found in water parks. This kid thinks that because he can slide under your arm or between your legs, he has the right to move ahead. This often ends up with him getting clotheslined by the next tourist.
19) The Inebriated Dad/Buddy
This guy isn't necessarily a jerk, but it is a hot day and he loves Busch beer. He is usually found bringing his drink into inappropriate areas, like the bathroom or the queue line for a children's attraction, and sometimes lets things slip that he shouldn't ("well, I know, Tommy, I want to keep riding, but your mother thinks that getting her hair cleaned before dinner is more important than our happiness"). He also often volunteers for anything and everything possible, like stunt or animal shows, and ends up distracting the audience in an attempt to get his friend to snap a good shot.
20) The Foreigners With Cameras / Trigger-Happy Camera Folk
With digital cameras rapidly replacing 35mm film, tourists feel it necessary to take as many pictures as possible during their vacations. It's natural when visiting a foreign country to be fascinated with things that aren't domestic to your nation, but this guy/group just takes it to a whole new level. Also applies to people who just love to document the whole trip to the second. A sign that says "photo-op" isn't taken as a suggestion but rather as a command. Parades, fireworks, and character greetings end up eating most of the day. At the end of their trips, most of the album consists of uninteresting shots, like 30 or so shots on the bus ride to the park, 83 pictures of landmarks that are readily available online, 112 pictures of their group in generic poses (like in the mouth of Jaws or under an AT-AT), and 254 shots of complete blurs that may be fireworks, roller coaster POVs, or piles of vomit.
The English -
Will come to America for a holiday.
Will laugh at the insanely cheap prices at Malls (Wallmart being one).
Will drive on the wrong side of the road and claim they are sober.
Will easily get lost in a park without proper theme park knowledge.
Will nearly always get sunburnt despite all preventive measures taken.
Will moan and queue - the Great British values.
Will compare UK parks to America parks, only to find out who the obvious winner is.
Will (in the extreme cases) act like a general hooligan.
Will wear an England football (soccer) shirt, because it makes us happy.
Will compare how nice everyone is compared to those in England.
I think I got em' all!
Have to admit that there are a few that let the side down but most of us aren't like Adrian's observations.
Mind you I loved Brian's bit about the Brits in socks and sandles. lol.
I'd add the masses of large groups of uniformed schoolkids that descend upon the Parks in May and literally take over every ride like rampant locusts let loose on a fresh crop of corn.
How 'bout you Euros do one for the Americans/Canadians that visit. What are our stereotypes?
The "Gotta Be First on the Ride" folks - those hearty souls (usually adults) who bolt to their favorite ride as soon as the park gates open - sometimes leaving their kids in the dust (I especially love the ones pushing babies in strollers - like the toddlers care if they're the first on Dumbo). It's especially funny at Disney, where many times, these sprinters are stopped at the ropes at the various Lands until a CM comes to remove it...then the race is on again.
The people with the cell phones or walkie talkies who think we all want to hear their conversations.
They're most annoying when you're at a show where they're louder than the performers. You can also include the people with their video cams stuck to their eyeballs. They film the entire ride and will have to go home and watch their video to see if they had fun.
I won't go into the loud groups of latins - they've been covered already (as a hispanic myself, I have been embarrassed numerous times by their behaviour and outrageous rudeness).
Then I like the parents who should have left the parks hours earlier - before their exhaustion caused major meltdowns...like the ones who are shrieking at their kids, yelling at employees or just plain miserable.
Next - the generally clueless. They cut in front of people in wheelchairs then complain when they get hit. They walk one way while looking the other, or suddenly stop for no apparent reason, forcing everyone else to dodge them. They stand in food lines for ten minutes and then don't have any idea what they want to eat when it's their turn to order so they ask a bunch of questions or have to call for family members (already sitting at table) to ask them questions.
And last, but not least - the people of all ages who don't seem to care that their foul mouths might offend some people or that little kids might hear them.
Happy themeparking, everyone...and I'll try not to call Spaceship Earth a Golf Ball anymore.
The Undecided: They have to stop frequently to look at their park maps. Unfortunately, they usually choose to do so right in the middle of the path! Each attraction, restaurant, and shop is a painful process of arguing, debating, and second-guessing, therefore they usually spend more time discussing the park than actually enjoying it.
The overly determined: They barrel straight through - nothing ever gets in their way, including other guests, employee-only areas, street shows, ropes, or chains. They know where they want to go and they plan to get there. These guests often drive ECVs or have large strollers to use as a battering ram to assist in this process.
The line jumper: No, not that kind of line jumper (the kind we all hate). This group get into a line, then halfway through decide they don't want to wait any longer. They go into a restaurant, then decide the menu isn't what they had in mind. They pick up souvenirs, only to leave them lying around the shop because they might find something better somewhere else. They leave shows halfway through so they don't "waste time." They don't actually ever RIDE ANYTHING, but they spend as much time in line as everyone else.
The arguer: The employee is NEVER right! No matter what. They question everything. Why do I have to wait? What do you mean my lapbar or seatbelt isn't secure? You can't make me! Um, yes we can. SECURITY!!!!!
One for you American's:
The English -
Will come to America for a holiday. (2 for 1 on the currency, why not)
Will laugh at the insanely cheap prices at Malls (Wallmart being one). (How many Brits have you seen stuffing a PS3 into their suitcase)
Will drive on the wrong side of the road and claim they are sober. (Guilty for that once, and only once)
Will easily get lost in a park without proper theme park knowledge.(But when you have 2 weeks you can take ur time)
Will nearly always get sunburnt despite all preventive measures taken. (All the redheads with freckles trying to get a tan)
Will moan and queue - the Great British values. (Perfect, 100%, moan and queue, love it, so true)
Will compare UK parks to America parks, only to find out who the obvious winner is. (The brain works overtime to calculate Dollars into Pounds)
Will (in the extreme cases) act like a general hooligan. (Only when there's a soccer game on and they're getting text updates from their friends in the UK)
Will wear an England football (soccer) shirt, because it makes us happy. (Yeah, someone put an end to that. After about 4 hours in the Florida heat they start to smell, REALLY BAD. Please, we know you love your team, as I do, but its a no no on the Replica kits)
Will compare how nice everyone is compared to those in England. (Move here then say that)
I think I got em' all! (Hmm, nearly, lets add these)
8am removal of shirt walking up I-Drive, to reveal pink beer belly and nipple fuzz, woman are in skimpiest bikini, even if they shouldn't be. This isn'f France.
First thing men do when they get to the hotel. Go find a British Pub, then drink.
Complain everything closes early when there's a hurricane in town.
Spend an hour at the Gas station trying to work out why the pump won't work. LIFT THE LEVER!!!!
And Rob, those school groups really are like locusts. I about split my side at that description. You can always spot them because of their matching tee shirts in bright primary colors.
And I have definitely seen the family who should have left the park a few hours earlier. They are all sunburned, their wallet is empty/ credit cards maxxed out, they are hungry, thirsty, and tired. Have you ever noticed they are usually arguing about something, but never actually looking at each other? Their bodies are in a perpetual, slow drive toward the exit gate. It is almost as if they are too tired to even move their eyeballs to look at each other out of the corners of their eyes. Their eyes just keep looking straight ahead...too funny!
This can be filed either under "Clueless" or "Don't Know Where They Are" and I swear I heard this - while at Animal Kingdom, a guest asked a castmember how to get to Disney. When the cm told the guest he WAS at Disney, the guy said, "No, I mean DISNEY...the place where the castle is."
And what's with the kids and the rollerskating sneakers? Those little brats fly by, almost knocking people over, and the parents don't say anything - they're usually talking on their stupid cell phones (a pet peeve of mine in case that wasn't obvious).
Okay, I'm done.
The most disappointing to watch though is the parents scolding their children. I'm sorry, but if your three year just lost their balloon, you don't yell at them, you cough up the extra $$ and get another one. Why make a child cry at an amusement park?
'Whoa......ease up on the Brit bashing.'
Me? Brit bash? You obviously don't know me well enough. My comment was honestly in the best tastes and I didn't mean to offend anyone. It was a JOKE!
Gareth H's reaction was the reaction that I was expecting. Besides, if I was Brit bashing, I would have been way way way way more harsher than that.
Obviously as you pointed out, most of the Brits don't apply to that list but that's because it was done in a humerous fashion.
The Rail Rider- The person in line who sits on the queue rails everytime the line stops. Known for often creating huge gaps in the queue, sometimes they feel the need to scoot their sweaty arses down the rail instead of walking like a normal human being, thus encouraging you to keep your hands away from the rails as far as possible.
The Wannabe Harlem Globetrotter- They threw up a prayer at the three point game, and won a basketball, and now feel the need to bounce it wherever they go. They are spotted either by the sound of the ball, or the sight of a ball rolling down the midway because Captain Dribble over there bounced it off his foot.
The Dancers- Three Words...Dance Dance Revolution. Ever seen those youtube videos of out of shape kids about to have a heart attack playing DDR? There's a team of them at your local park. If you ever feel the need to try this game, forget about doing it here, because there are usually four to six 14 to 20 year old dudes crowded around the machine.
Derek - The Harlem Globetrotter could also apply to those who win the ridiculously huge cuddly animals. These things are usually bigger than the kid carrying 'em, and could likely get on more rides because of their height.
I'm guessing we're at about 35, now:
35) The Eating-Impaired
It's natural to be starving at a theme park, but the way some people scarf down that crap can be rather entertaining. About 50% of each popcorn handful will actually make it into their mouths. Don't waste your time observing the animals at Busch Gardens - these folks are much more entertaining.
And don't feel bad if you're on this list - I definitely have been a few times.
and theres the "look at me! i spent big bucks on this big hat" person. i wonder how many people will actually wear that big hat ever again, like to a wedding, or out on the town, or will it just collect dust in the closet.
Oddly, no one seems to fall for the "wow, I really need this fez" scam in Morocco. It must make the CMs there feel good to know that people love to stop, put on the hat, laugh, take a picture, then leave it behind. Nothing like mocking another culture (I feel the same for people who run a marathon to bypass the movie at the end of Maelstrom. Be nice to the Norway girls. They're cute!)
Oh, and don't forget that The Rail Rider will always be oblivious to park employees asking them NOT to sit on the rail. They meant everyone else, not you.
Derek - I had to get my hand sanitizer out after reading your entry on Rail Riders.
Steve - Isn't it a part of admission to Epcot to force a family member (in my case, my 90 year old mother-in-law) to pose for a picture in a sombrero? I wonder what people do with that stuff when they get home. How many opportunities will someone have to wear top hat with Mickey ears?
This topic could last forever...
This kinda goes with some others mentioned... "The Unable to relax and enjoy themselves people". They yell at their kids. They complain about the lines, the complain about the heat. (HELLO! You choose to go to Florida in July, the park is open year round) They act like getting thru the park is a job or a chore. You are on VACATION! Relax!! Enjoy the time with your family. Enjoy the wonderfully unhealthy, but amazingly delicious junk food you can indulge in. Enjoy the sun being out. Enjoy riding the rides. I always want to ask these people why they went on vacation if they cant relax and enjoy themselves. *sigh*
38) Another group is the "Our one friend is in line and saving 10 spots for the rest of us". You join the que for a ride and the person in front of you keeps looking back and walking slow. Just as you are about to enter a building or a part of the que that can not been from the que's entrance, 10 of this person's friends rush up (generally with food or a basketball they just won)and join their friend claiming their friend was holding their spot. (I am talking amusement parks, not the big theme parks) They also tend to light up their cigarretes at this point too. Rules dont apply to them. (Until I talk to a park employee)
The benchwarmers – they pay their $60+ to get in, but spend the day sitting at ride exits while the other people in their party go on the rides.
The unsupervised sub-adults – generally seen during “off school” days at theme parks that offer easy gate access and cheap season tickets. Parents drop these middle-school aged kids in the morning on their way to work and let them run amok, using the park as a babysitter.
The worst one for me and it's the one that me and my friend always get are the clueless ones. We run into them in lines at food counters or the line at the turnstiles to get in. Oddly enough in the three days we were at Disneyland this really only happened once.
The worst are the food lines. We are in line for five minutes, more than enough time to look at a menu, the line is moving pretty well until the people in front of us get there. That is when the great food debate begins, what did this one want, I don't want that, what does that come with, ask your brother what he wants, is grandma eating, I had that the last time and I hated it, we've had that alraedy, no they don't have that, read my order of twenty again, how much was that, how much was that, how much was that..........
When we order we tell them this is what I want and this is what I want to drink. I always feel like telling them, that's how it's done!
In line at the turnstiles they are the ones who don't have their tickets out, again had plenty of time in line to get it, they don't look for it till they get to the turnstile, or there is an argument over who will get to through first.
Oh and then there's the smart a**es, the ones that always squat down at the entrance of rides and say they're not tall enough, keep commenting on the price of everything, and hit on all the female CMs, Team Members etc.
PS We met the "historian" waiting and the end of Main Street in Disneyland on our first day before the rope drop, and he was alone, I felt bad....
The "Whatever that is" people:
People who pretend they don't know what the character the ride is based on is, so they can look cool.
EX: Hey, let's go on that ride with the...mouse guy...what's his name? I don't follow that kind of stuff.
This one is a blast from the past. Back when I was a teenager going to parks, me and my friends would look for this one.
The Line Date- If you are girl/boy watching in the park (as 99.9 percent of all teenagers...and probably older people as well are doing), than you probably know what I'm talking about. Waiting an hour in line, you always walk by the same people in the queue...many times an attractive member of the opposite sex. You talk for a couple minutes, than the line moves, and a few minutes later you meet up again. Back in my teenage years, striking up conversations with the girls walking past you in the queue used to be a pastime for me and buddies. If all went well, usually you had a date for the rest of the day. I'm sure it probably works the same way for girls too.
The Nazi Employee- Most of the time, they are probably just doing their job a little too well, but every once in a while you have one on a power trip. I particularly don't appreciate those who force people to coaster car lines. This is a management thing I understand, but some are just downright rude about it. Sorry guys, I paid my money to get in. I reserve the right to ride in the seat of my choosing.
The Keyhole Photographers- These aren't annoying characters per se, just common to see. Most are nice about it and will back off if you don't want a picture. Some have the pushy salesman thing going on, and require the look of death as a repellent.
The Frightened Child- Some kids just aren't ready to ride certain rides. They demonstrate this by screaming and crying all the way through it. I think that parents look upon this as a bit of sick payback for misbehavior. I did once. My 9 year old nephew had a little mouth on him one day, so I took him on Tomb Raider at Kings Island. He insisted he was a big boy, although he had no clue what the ride was, nor could he see it because it was indoors. I took a bit of delight in hearing him screaming for his mommy at the top of his lungs.
As for the Line Date - I have the most amazing luck of being in DisneyWorld during the national cheer leading competitions. Sure, they're out of my league, but I still try to charm 'em.
Now that many parks search your bags, I seem to always get stuck with the guard who is going to examine every zippered pocket, makeup kit, camera kit, diaper bag, fanny pack - you name it. Add to that, I get behind the people who don't realize the guard's gonna ask them to open every zipper even though we've been standing in line for five minutes. When it's their turn, they get all flustered and can't seem to open their bags and when they're done, they hold up the line because they stand in place while they re-zip everything. They're right up there with the people who can't figure out how to put their tickets in the scanner. And don't even get me started on the employees at the turnstyles who think folding your ticket a million times will help the scanner read it.
The Haters - These are the folks who do nothign except denigrate everythign about the park they are visiting. "it's so commercial (duh)", "That's historically inaccurate (duh)" they are constantly disatisfied with whatever they ar experienceing and make sure everyone knows about it.
The Surly Teen/Tween - These kids are WAY TOO cool to be here with heir lame parents, lame family, lame crowds of stoopid people and dumb rides. Once in a while you might catch them begoinning to not hate somehting, but usually they catch themselves before they are actualkly seem doing somehting so uncool as enjoying their family vacations.
The Cheerleader/Little League/Pop-Warner/Dance team parent and their spawn - To be fair the vast majority of these folks are great and are very conscientious about making sure the horde of kids they are with don't bother other folks but some seem to work very hard to make their kids think they are more imnportant than anyone else and if others ar einconvemniences too bad. They have we're special emblazoned ontheir forheads and "ruules are for little people" on their shirts. These are the folks that "hold places in line" for the teram who will be right there/or tell you that a specific cashier is reserved for "The Team" even though no one in the team seems to be in line.
The "Get A Room Already"s - the young couple in line that fails to move when the line moves because they are attached to each other. Also known as excessive PDA's. They usually look around first to see if anyone is watching before they start.
The "Pushers" - They spend the whole time in line pushing against you.
(almost like the "pushers" are)- The NO CONCEPT of PERSONAL SPACE people. Uh, I know the line is long, but standing on top of ME isn't going to make it go any faster. I can kind of understand these people in the queue line, but sometimes they do it in other parts of the park for no apparent reason.
'THE DO OR DIE GUY/GIRL'
Will attempt to get every attraction done possible. They go as far as only going to the toilet once, eat packed lunch in the queue line and will walk quickly (or in my case pace it down the pathway at 100mph!) to the next attraction without stopping for anything.
Will only go to theme parks for the sake of sociasling with their friends. These people are a waste of money, time and effort. They have the option of sociasling at school, college, clubs etc, but no they have to bring their topics to a theme park (a place were people go for fun, thrills and unique experiences). What a waste!
A usefull person to have around. This person plans out the day in advance so everyone can get the most out of there day. Always on constant whatch on what's going on in the park including opening times, ride availability and of course that person is the holder of the park map.
I should probably say that I fit into two of those types. I am a 'Do Or Die Guy' and 'The Planner'. I think those two go hand in hand and make for a great combination of a typical theme park tourist!
Lol at Adrian and Gareth H, those comments have made my day!
One of my favorites are the "Soaked Elderly", you know those grand-parents who didn't come prepared to ride water rides but they got there, it was hot, and somebody told them they could ride a particular ride and they "wouldn't get that wet" only to end up completely soaked.
They are usually sitting at the ride entrance wiping off their glasses, ringing out their hats, and semi irritated, but semi laughing becuase they know how rediculous it is. We got my grandma on White Water Canyon (similar to Popeye's barge ride at IOA) back in the 80's and she had the enomrous granny fro. And caught a water cannon shot directly to the head. We laughed until we cried, thankfully she thought it was just as funny. :)
Unfortunatly, I'm only capable to do that as a single rider!
Shut up and enjoy the ride, or stay off.
OK, I'm off my high horse.
The Old Couple- The typical 70ish year old man and his little old ladyish wife couple. The fact that they still come to the park, ride the rides, enjoy the atmosphere...etc etc. with a smile on their face, puts a smile on mine. They've been married for 50 years, and unlike many of us youngins, have figured out how to be happy together. Actually these couples are quite common if you notice. Last year my wife and I happened to be walking close by a pair at Kings Island and I overheard them...
Little Old Lady- (carrying a bag of popcorn)- "Well hon, do you want to go on the Racers (wooden roller coaster)?
Old Guy (his arm around his wife)- "Sure...which one do you want to ride"?
Little Old Lady- "The backwards one is a little too much for me anymore, but I just love the one that goes forward".
Old Guy (smiling)- "What are ya...chicken?"
I saw them on the carousel later that day, having the time of their lives. Who doesn't want to be like that when they are 70.
The Ahole in the Parking Lot- Found during the high traffic times in the parking lot. They spent the day at the park, yet suddenly have lost all of their free time. Usually but not always a male, they don't have the patience to wait their turn and keep the slow (yet smooth) flow of traffic going, so they cut people off, or stop in the middle of an intersection, therefore backing up traffic going the other way as well and further making a mess. Fond of laying on the horn, not letting anybody out of their space, and yelling insults out of their window. If you ever see 2 of them meet up, get out of your car and watch in amusement. Known to ruffle the feathers of everyone around him, they can cause even the longest fused, most easy going person (me) to lose it.
One particular loudmouth of this variety will never know just how close he came to calling down the thunder...
You forgot the "Always doing chants, cheers, dances and other annoying things in line which take up lots of room and normally result in the line being stalled while they're busy making dorks of themselves.
Its always in another language so you have no idea what they are singing, but its annoying as hell.
You have to smile, despite the fact you just want to kill them because the song is so repetitve..
The only good thing about them is the ones who wear the teenie (thrush) shorts and tie the tops up, way above the naval... Roll on summmer!!!
Thanks to all who contributed. We need more funny topics like this.
Yeah, Floridas nasty for the BO problem!!!
The Group: Not to be confused with tour groups or Brazilians, this swarm of teens are generally with their school on a field trip, but if in High School, may have simply just skipped school. Besides filling a ton of stereotypes on this very list, these loud-mouths will do everything in their power to inadvertently make your life as miserable as possible. These are generally far more of a problem during theme park events, such as Halloween Horror Nights and Mardi Gras.
The West Side Stories: While your typical tour group is bad enough, these people will find the smallest areas possible to get together. What makes it worse is that they're all with the same tour companies, but are in completely different tour groups. These people will block your way as much as possible, slowing (or completely stopping) the flow of traffic, or all decide as a group to ride a ride, or eat at a certain restaurant, drowning you in seas of greens, blues, reds and whites.
The Trashers: These people seem to believe that, because they pay people to clean up the streets and venues at theme parks that they're entitled to throw their crap all over the ground for them to clean up when a trash receptacle, designed to hold trash for future disposal, is ten feet away. Not to be confused with those that are Eating-Impaired, who unknowingly cause messes simply because of their eating habits.
The Sanitizers: These people love cleanliness, and are, thankfully, the polar opposte of the BO Guest. While most of them simply bring along wipes to clean themselves (or their kids) off, the worst kinds are the ones that bring enough of that hand sanitizer stuff to clean up a small village. These people are obvious from miles away, because you can see them wringing their hands profusely, as if the sanitizer isn't getting off all the nasty left from touching a rail that The Rail Rider just rubbed his butt along for practically the entire queue.
I admit that I am a bit of a sanitizer.
My kids have been out of diapers for over a year, but I still carry wipes with me wherever I go! You never know when you are going to need them! Sticky ice cream chins, cotton candy fingers, funk from that nasty "rail rider"...
This thread appears to have become "true confessions" for me!
You'd be surprised how frequently you'll find those people. If you stand in the middle of the street in any theme park, do a complete turn around, and look at every possible available pair of hands, I guarantee you you'll find no less than two women rubbing their hands, or in the process of preparing to rub their hands, with hand sanitizer.
Perhaps I'm just nitpicking. And exaggerating. I'm a horrible person. :<
I have flat feet. Even with the insoles, my feet begin to hurt after being on them for about six hours. By that point, I'm practically begging for a place to sit in line. Rails offer that for me. >_>
I guess my kids are like a "get out of jail free card" on this one!
I am also a bit of a planner, but probably a "minor planner". I take the job by default. When it is time to leave an area, everyone looks at me and says "Where are we going now?" I am always the holder of the map and show times. But I am not a rigid planner. I always go with everyone's mood on that day. Some days we attack a park with speed and energy, and other days it is just lazy and laid back.
That is the only other tourist trait that I find similarity with, at least that I can think of right now.
Also, I have a few!
How does a fastpass work?- People who, for some reason, do not get the whole theory of a fastpass and each ride has to have some kind of Cast Member there to explain the same thing hundreds of times in an hour
The Drunk Adventurers- People who go to the Adventurer's Club at Pleasure Island and get plastered and believe that they are part of the show or they can be as creepy to the performers as possible. These people are sometimes locals and usually highly intoxicated
And the Drunk Adventurers were so frequent it got irritating. Don't get me wrong, I was drunk too, but I didn't interrupt the entertainers by shouting at them during their presentations. I did get a few laughs with some well-timed quips, but those were when I was given the spotlight by the cast members.
The Drunk Adventurers don't only appear at the clubs, either. We got some on Tower of Terror during Extra Magic one night. One of them got a laugh from the riders at the very beginning of the ride, and because of that, he thought he was king sh1t. He kept making loud, irritating remarks the entire ride until our group told him to shut the hell up (in those words). He was quiet after that.
My final addition to the list (though it may have been covered already):
Make Way, I'm Filming
These fools don't take pictures along pathways, but across them, ceasing all traffic. Often, these Kodak moments are in already congested areas (e.g. Main Street USA), and they'll get angry that the hundreds of tourists trying to walk keep ruining their shots. This trip, I walked in front of one (not purposely, I didn't notice them) that a group was taking. The group was in front of Cinderella's castle, and the cameraman was on the other side of the path (by the Walt statue). They all yelled at me, but luckily I hang out with some obnoxiously sarcastic friends who got the last word in (and it wasn't a pretty one).
The People Who Walk Through The Picture- It's not wise, nor is it considerate to expect throngs of people to get out of the way in a busy place, so that's why you go out of the way of the crowds to take a picture. The problem is that no matter where you try to film, even if it isn't busy, there is always someone who finds a way to through your shot. They could just as easily walked around you because there was absolutely nobody else within 30 feet, but no, they didn't do that.
I don't expect any extreme show of courtesy, but a polite nod, or a quick thank you would be nice. But it is almost as if I am expected to inconvenience myself for their picture.
My DH just says I am too nice and should plow right through their picture without giving it a second thought. But what can I say, I have a gentle nature!
But I can't really come up with a name for this type of behavior. Any suggestions?
It used to be worse in the "old days" at Disney when characters used to walk the parks without a CM handler. People would shove their kids in front of other kids and fights would practically break out. It's amazing how crazy people get trying to take the perfect picture.
People take pictures at inconvenient locations as if it was their job. No, you don't need a picture in front of the castle, especially when it frustrates you and causes you to yell at your group / other people. There are other great shots to be had.
Joshua, I could not agree more about the superiority of a candid or unplanned photograph. I hate heavily posed pictures where people have these forced, fake smiles. I love to get the pictures where real action or true feelings are evident. Some of my favorite family pictures are taken from behind the subject, but convey a powerful emotion through setting or body posture.
And Gareth, I laughed out loud at the mental image of walking right in front of the "perfect picture planner" and flashing a big toothy grin right at their camera. I will have to try this sometime when I need a good laugh!
At Busch Gardens, they decided that taking pictures in the archways between the entrance and Gwazi was a good idea. And these were employees, not guests. So, when the group in front of us, which happened to have about 20 people, decided to block the narrow path and get their shot, we decided we'd get in the shot. My buds and I jumped up behind the group as the shot was taken, giving the perfect "that guy" pose.
We'll forever live in their album.
Actually, let me tell you something I found hilarious.
At Universal you have the "Bi" curious George area, the water area. Lovely big signs everywhere about getting wet, andntta if you want to stay dry to follow the foot prints. Well obviously some idiot decided that he was not gonna get wet and was going to take some pictures on his ridiculously overprices, over sized camera. (Why does any amateur need a camera with a lense that will poke someones eye out 50 feet away). Anyhoo, I was upstairs, waiting by the flower pot, waiting to soak some unsuspecting wheelchair renter, who pretty much only uses it to avoid walking while drunk (Plastic bottle of beer in basket at front and one in hand too), Differnet story about that if you ever want to hear it, lets just say they can walk when they need to.
This guy with the 100 foot lense was talking some bizarre pictures and some funny kid was upstairs on those annoying, pull push soaker guns (The ones that drench your legs instead of the people you are trying to get).
So this kid, about 14 decided her was going to soak the people below, as you do, as you'd expect and as is allowed. Of course, Mr 150ft lense camera guy was stading below and this kid decided it would be funny to soak him, 200 ft lense camera and all. The guy got wet, 250ft lense camera wet as well, and he started shouting at him, nice choice of words, the F word, the C word. Great education for all the little wet kids below. The guy then ran off to his wife, poking her with the 300 ft lense, almost blinding her in the process and ran up the stairs,after the kid. The kid wasn't dumb, funny, but not dumb, and saw him coming, the barrage of F & C words may have been a hint and ran off into the ball thingy (Fun) and guy, dripping with sweat, and water, not sure which was which though, he was big guy (McDonalds spokes person perhaps) chased after him. Looked like a great benny Hill sketch, minus the skantily clad woman.
Well it got too much with this guy continuing to educate children with adult language and his shouts about his $1000 camera.
I had to go call security, who asked me what he looked like.
Hmm, "Fat, sweaty, wet and red faced". He realised they were after him and went back to his black eyed wife (400 ft lense).
So the moral of the story is, if theres a dirty great big sign that says "You will get wet, walk the foot prints to avoid getting wet", its probably agood idea to heed the warnings if you don't want your obese camera to get slightly damaged!!!
Another one from the list, though it's so gargantuan now that it may have been covered:
The Stop & Go
This/these tourist(s) drastically accelerate(s) in front of you, and then stop(s). Why? Because they're tourists. They're obviously in a hurry to get somewhere, but midway realize that they forgot someone or something, or they see something enticing and all progress comes to a halt. This happens constantly, and most are guilty of it. Sometimes, the Stop & Go causes domino effects as the people behind him/her collide mid-stride.
To deal with the Stop & Go, wear a shirt with sharp objects in the chest area, or walk with your hands out to provide a barrier between you and them in case of sudden stops.
As I mentioned, I love hanging by the Flower Pot water dump, Its discreet and is placed directly above a great little doorway. A lot of people tend to come out of the ball pit and forget about turning right for the foot prints. Instead they see the lovely door arch to the right, of course, they don't see my because I have a full bucket and am ducking down. My wife tends to stand away, out of pure embarrasement generally, but I know someones coming because her face either lights up or drops from fear. On this occassion I could hear the 9V motor whiring away and took a little peek at the "I'm too lazy and drunk to walk and can't be bothered to queue, so I'll pay $40 to rent a chair rather than but a Express pass thingy". YOu know the ones, the drinkers. Miller Light in Hand and its always a young tattooed couple, chair each.
Anyway, I saw them coming and for the 10 seconds I had from them leaving the ball pit to the time they hit the arch my conscience (Sp) darted about. The devil appeared on my left shoulder, but no Angel on my right. So I dumped it and ran.
All I could hear was, "Sh*********************************t" and some commotion as the guy jumped from the chair, actually running into the biblical flood that fell from the heavans above. Once I got the other side I could only watch and laugh, maybe a little bit of guilt, as the Wife batterer, vest wearing dude wiped himself, down, checked his beer (Oh he grabbed that) and looked up, trying to work out where, and who the water came from.
Funniest part was the fact the the people sitting the dry Zone had seem me running away and were Laughing there behinds off, especially as one spectator shouted out "Its a Miracle", due ot the fact he seemed have no issues walking.
I didn't stop laughing for about an hour.
This was my far the funniest thing I had ever seen/done, at Universal Studios.
I wish Mr 500ft Lense was the to take pictures of that!
First of all, you are really tall, Gareth! I am only 5'4" (barefoot), so you would tower over me. You can't be missed in any picture, because you rise a full head above the average person. I just blend in with the crowd. That just means I have to work harder and make a really goofy face or wear some outlandish clothes if I want to get noticed in some stranger's picture. Wow!
Joshua, the "stop and go" people gripe my nerves, too. And when they slow down or stop, naturally I go around to the left to pass them. Then they wait until I am almost past them, and then they start up again before I have a chance to get fully in front. So I have to race or shuffle quickly and increase my pace in order to actually proceed in front of them, or take a chance on getting slammed by oncoming traffic from the other side! You would think they would at least wait until I have a chance to move on by! But they have no clue anyone else is on the planet.
And Gareth, I am glad Joshua asked for the wheelchair story, because I was going to ask for it, too! It was hilarious, but I just wish that I had the personality that could get away with something like that. I've got to start being less timid! Thanks for sharing!
Like they say in Animal House, "Don't get mad -- get even."
I generally apologize, but even so! I am a Stop & Go'er.
Also, hilarious stories, guys. I have a few of my own, but I figure that's for another time.
It is the ones who have no idea that I am in the world that irk me the most. I can even understand if it is someone with an obvious distraction...say a small child that just stops to scratch behind their knee or something like that. Of course, when my children do that (which they have been known to do!), then I look back to the person behind me and acknowledge them with a smile or a quick "sorry". It only takes a second to be courteous.
PS - I was so annoyed with this friend, that when I spotted a couple we'd met earlier, I suggested we give them our Fastpasses to Soarin' (we'd already ridden 3 times - enough already). Before she could protest, I handed the guy my pass so she HAD to give hers to the guy's wife. The look on her face was small consolation for the misery I'd experienced that day.
Who you travel with can really make or break your day.
I just don't understand how anyone can go to a theme park and have no energy. There is a collective energy in large crowds that is so dramatic I almost think I can see it or touch it sometimes. The adrenaline rushes from the coaster rides, the hormones from flirtatious young couples, the anger from over-spenders or people trying to do too much....any intense emotion adds to the level of energy in the air. How can anyone be unaffected by that?
I was totally blindsided by this person. The only reason I even suggested we go to Disney was because, when we were kids, we were hooked on the Mickey Mouse Club and went to many Disney movies together. It seemed like a natural. It was so weird (and creepy) to be with someone who hardly laughed at all. Needless to say, I am sticking to my usual themepark companions.
On the energy note: I find Fantasmic! is the biggest energizer of any attraction. All those thousands of guests giving a fictional character a standing ovation and screaming at the top of their lungs. No better way to end the day.
Walt Disney World
Tokyo Disney Resort