Just Published: Theme Park Insider: 2016 Year in Review
This week, we are designing a water ride for a Disney park. Please name what kind of ride it is (boat, flume, rapids, etc.), it's theme, what happens on the ride, where it's located, and an approximate run time.
I have decided that for the final 2 challenges (themed land and theme park), you may use any main theme park (Disney, Universal, Busch Gardens, etc.). If you have another park that you want to use, ask me for permission NOW, so you have time to think or find another solution.
This challenge ends on March 16th.
And btw, I claim a Bugs Life river rapids ride
The newest river rapids ride coming to Walt disney World's Animal Kingdom!
MONTY PYTHON'S COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO THE
HISTORY OF ENGLAND
Class begins momentarily, don't be late for Professors Idle, Cleese, Palin, Jones and Gilliam's guided boat tour down the River Thames for a Time Traveling Python's eye view of English History.
Located in the far corner of the United Kingdom pavilion at Epcot's World Showcase, visitors will find a very ostentatious looking office building with a sign above the door reading "MINISTRY OF HISTORICAL RESEARCH (formerly Ministry of Silly Walks)".
You enter the building where the queue for the ride begins, and into a lecture hall where a film strip projector is running photos of great moments in English history interspersed with the occasional photos of girls on the beach (someone's vacation slides must have gotten mixed in with the others, don't know how that happened). The queue then enters the next room a preshow begins with life like projections (like those used for Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore at Universal's Potter ride) of all five surviving Monty Python troupe members. Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and Michael Palin are dressed in the robes and mortar board hats of college professors and introduce themselves as experts on English history and invite you all outside onto awaiting boats to sail the River Thames and journey back in time to witness first hand the true history of this country.
Now, being that our tour guides are the Pythons, this trip is not meant to be taken all that seriously. Real historical events will be shown but with a humorous take on things. Think back to WORLD OF MOTION and its silly take on history and you'll get the idea.
Heading "outside", we find ourselves on the docks of the Thames River at sunset. 10 Riders at a time will climb aboard flat bottomed boats adorned with a coat of arms emblazoned with a large red python with a latin phrase which translates to " Pythons and History make strange bedfellows". The sets in the loading area look like London complete with stylized version of Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and Piccadilly Circus.
Once seated our boat takes off, meandering down the river and past the modern day city of London at night. Our narration begins as our boat climbs up a hill and into a swirling fog bank as our narrators (the Pythons, who appear at times throughout the ride as they did using the projection technology mentioned earlier) explain that this is no ordinary London fog, but the very mists of time itself. We are heading back to where it all began, to the very beginning of English history. From our boat we see lit by spotlight a very confused looking neanderthal (the first of many audio animatronics) waving a bone at us and grunting at us. " Judging from the accent he must be Welsh", says Palin. "No, no no...this is much too far back", says Cleese "push it forward...about 200 thousand years should do it." We pass into the next room through more fog into a stonehenge scene with druids in robes chanting what sounds like Spinal Taps song STONEHENGE. "That does it", Cleese says. "It looks like one of those heavy metal album covers", Gilliam says.
We then sail onwards through another fog bank and into the period of Roman occupation "Why do those Romans need to come here? They've got their own pavilion right across the way. I hear the pizzas smashing over there", says Idle. We see Roman soldiers tearing down a sign that reads Welcome to England and replacing it with one that reads Under New Management.
"Of course the Romans didn't stay forever. The Vikings had their crack at us too" "What is it with people? They've got these nice pavilions all around here and all they seem to want to do is take over our place. Who's next? The Canadians? The Morracons? Does the Imagination Institute have its grubby little eyes set on us next?" They all look at Idle, who looks around sheepishly whistling a lazy tune.
Our boat then enters another fog bank as it is explained that it would all change forever as a group called the Normans from northern France invaded in 1066.
Our boat then goes up another hill, at the top of the hill above our heads are three knights taunting us (inspired by the french taunters from Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Our narrators ask "What are you doing in England?' They respond in french accents "Mind your own business, you silly english types, you think you are safe from our taunts? Your mother was a hamster and you father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or we shall taunt you a second time." At this we zip down a waterfall and find ourselves in the middle of the Battle of Hastings. The battle is shown via animation on the walls in the style of the Bayeaux Tapestry.
"This was the turning point, modern England emerged, William the Conqueror took the crown and we all lived happily ever after" Jones says.
more to come
Our boats enter the next scene, this room representing the English Renaissance/Tudor period features singing and dancing figures, William Shakespeare directing a scene from Romeo and Juliet (Romeo seems to have forgotten his lines and is reciting from Hamlet), Queen Elizabeth at court welcoming back explorers Sir Francis Drake and Sir Walter Raleigh.
"It was a time of rebirth, exploration and the arts," says Palin "nothing but smooth sailing ahead."
We round a bend and down a waterfall to find the Spanish Armada firing on the English coastline, cannonballs whizzing over our heads and landing in the water next to our boats. London is ablaze in the night sky.
" Smooth sailing indeed! What is this, Pirates of the Caribbean? We must've taken a seriously wrong turn somewhere. Where's the bloody map?", says Idle. "These aren't Pirates,"says Cleese,"its the Spanish Armada attempting, thank goodness unsuccessfully, an invasion. London is ablaze because of the great fire of 1666. Nearly wiped out the entire city. Engand, however, rebuilds and greater days await."
We round a bend and see in front of us a group of Scotsmen in kilts playing bagpipes and caber tossing, a contingency of Welsh and Irish all meeting and shaking hands with the English. "It was at this time", Jones says," that the people of this island banded together and formed a United Kingdom."
We move into the final scene, a large room passing by numerous time periods from 1800 to present day 21st century, as a new song written and performed by Eric Idle (the song writer of the group) is played.It is a slightly cheeky tune in the style of his song "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". We pass Beefeaters at the Tower of London, Charles the First playing chess with Oliver Cromwell. Artists Shelly, Byron and Keats looking very disinterested with the goings on. Queen Victoria dancing at a ball with Prince Albert. The Artful Dodger and Oliver Twist picking a man's pocket. Robin Hood and his Merry Men waving to us from a cliffside. The room is literally crammed with figures representing both literary figures like Ebeneezer Scrooge, real notables like Oscar Wilde, entertainers like the Beatles and leaders like Winston Churchill.
We then enter a final fog filled tunnel as our narrators say " Thank you for joining us on this trip through the history of England. Hope you were taking notes, there is a test at the end. We didn't tell you that? Oh we must have. Well feel free to ride through again if you need to....or better yet cheat off the girl next to you. She looks cute. No, not her, the other one. The one with the glasses. She looks smart."
You then enter the exit station and disembark from your boat with the theme from Monty Python's Flying Circus playing in the exit hallway. You then exit through the gift shop full of Monty Python merchandise, souvenirs of the U.K. and books on English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish history.
The newest river ride coming to Animal Kingdom!
Background: Flik has decided to come up with a new invention: bottle cap river rafts. The ants are constantly finding discarded bottle caps all over the ground, so Flik has decided to put them to good use. He attaches seats and a rail onto dozens of caps, and decides to use the newly made rafts in a river ride!
Queue: In the queue, guests seem to have shrunk. As they walk through the line, they see all sorts of common items you would litter (plastic, soda cans, etc.), but they are much larger: larger than YOU! Guests see different sights before they approach the loading area, which is in constant motion with one of those moving floor things.
Ride: You board your raft, and the ride begins. You start out going slow, heading through large blades of grass, going towards Insect City (located under a large, artificial trailer). You head down there and float through the city, viewing the different insects commuting on the streets. At one point in the city, P.T. Flea (animatronic, of course) appears and warns guests.
"You guys better hurry to your little ant colony, you odd little insects! I hear that Hopper is back for revenge!"
The current grows stronger, and the raft turns and starts heading out of the city towards the ant colony (also artificial). Just for laughs, as the raft turns, guests can hear P.T. say:
"I wonder what kind of bugs those weird creatures are..."
About a minute later, the raft approaches the large anthill looming over them. They enter through the side of the hill, and things go dark, except for some light shining through holes in the roof. Things are eerily quiet, until you hear crashing, and light pours in. Hopper! The current grows extra strong, and seems to be pulling the guests down deeper into the hill. Guests can hear Hopper talking to the ants.
"Look, little ants, this is going to be easy. Just give over your food supply, and nobody gets hurt." (by the way, Hopper is a hologram, like the ones in the Forbidden Journey's queue). Hopper notices the raft's movement, and he drops down in front of them.
"Hey! Quit moving! I can see you trying to esca-" He stops and starts freaking out.
"HUMANS! HUMANS! THEY MUST BE EXTERMINATORS! MEN, FLY FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Hopper and his grasshopper goonies escape the hill, and the ants cheer and celebrate. You pass by an AA Flik, you thanks you for your service, as well as for riding his rafts. You exit the colony and arrive back at the loading area, where guests can exit and shop at the Bug's Life gift store.
A Bug's Life: River Rapids could be located at 2 places: 1) the old Kali River Rapids area, or 2) in the large open area of water. For a map, see this link. (my own map :D)
Thank you for riding A Bug's Life River Rapids!
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
This flume ride will be part dark ride, part thrill ride telling the story of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice from the classic movie, Fantasia. The ride will feature special effects, animatronics, and, of course, the classic music.
Situated in the new music section of Disney’s Hollywood Studios, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice will take place in the castle of Yen Sid who has a Waterfall Coming out of his castle... The boats will be in the “round” (Like Kali River Rapids or Popeye’s), but will be fashioned like buckets.
Steamboat Willie's Timeless River
Background: Mickey has always dreamed of being the captain for the Steamboat Willie. Unfortunately Peg-leg Pete is in charge. He is always throwing Mickey around, not being nice, and taking over the wheel any time he wants to.
The ride would take about 4 minutes.
The poll shall be up soon!
Walt Disney World
Tokyo Disney Resort