Last week at your amusement park...May 2, 2011

A digest of amusement park news and rumors...and a couple of rants...with a sense of humor...

From Jeff Elliott
Posted May 2, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Universal Studios Singapore – Madagascar is within days of opening

HersheyPark – The four studies mentioned last week on the bogus Ride Institute website have been published, but there is nothing in there other than technical gibberish. Is there anyone out there smarter than me that can make sense of this?

Kings Island – Weather has not cooperated and has now delayed both the opening of their dino encounter as well as their Windseeker ride.

Shanghai Disneyland – Construction has officially started. Allegedly, the first thing that the construction crew did was put up all of the FastPass kiosks so that you don’t have to stand in line until several weeks before the park opens.

Cedar Point – Their Windseeker is also having weather related delays.

Kentucky Kingdom – The redevelopment effort, while very delayed, just got a reprieve until the end of September. Is it just me or is this starting to sound like Six Flags New Orleans all over again?

Six Flags Great Adventure – Green Lantern construction continues.

Virgin Galactic – The ultimate thrill ride has now set a price and is taking deposits and reservations to launch people into space. For $200,000, you can enjoy a 2 hour ride into low orbit around the planet. For $1,500,000, they will put you in a spaceship first and attempt to bring you back in one piece. I have some politicians to nominate for the first option if anyone would like to help me raise the money.

Six Flags Magic Mountain – There are some construction delays with their Green Lantern coaster. Although I have never figured out why they would install a ride with such a low capacity in the first place…

Boomers – The Dania Beach Hurricane has been closed. Something about the roller coaster was owned and operated by a third party that has filed for bankruptcy protection.

SeaWorld California – There are some great pictures posted of the construction process that has started for Manta. It looks like a huge middle section of the park is now under the knife. If you want to check out those pictures, do a search on the internet (hint: Manta is a roller COASTER in the WEST). It sounds like the skyride is now free during construction.

Lady Gaga – Rumor has it that she is talking about wanting to open a theme park. One might wonder if she is the one touring Freestyle Music Park. According to the “rumors”, she has been talking over ideas with Alice Cooper. This is probably another thread that someone should start, but I have some ideas for the rides: Space Cadet Mountain (where the ride forgets what it is doing halfway through and never makes it back to the station), Bump Your Rumper Cars (where the cars keep shedding parts until at the end of the ride, you can see just about all of the exposed inner workings of the car), Dizzy Booze Cups (a tea cup ride that never lets you off), The Career Train (that always derails and crashes), the Betty Ford Clinic ride (where they use bright flashing lights and loud music to simulate withdrawal symptoms),and Expedition Underpants (a roller coaster ride where you are trying to avoid the paparazzi while trying to find a pair of underpants).

Universal Resorts – When Blackstone decided to cash in their shares of Universal Studios, it put NBC/Comcast under the gun since the agreement that they had was something to the effect of if one owner wants out, the other owner either needs to buy up the shares and become 100% owner, or sell their ownership stake as well. The rumor has it that NBC/Comcast is taking the first couple of steps toward 100% ownership.

Six Flags – In their infinite wisdom has raised parking prices in many of their parks. This is probably a rant for a different thread, but...does it seem insane to anyone else that their parking prices are almost half as expensive as their entrance ticket? Someone needs to Chuck Norris roundhouse kick someone at Six Flags. Play Roller Coaster Tycoon for about 3 minutes and you will figure out the answer to this. Raise the entrance fee, triple the cost of a season pass (somewhere in the neighborhood of $150-$200), reduce the parking fee to $5 (or better yet, free), give away free sodas and sun screen (take the corporate jet to Holiday World for an example of this “innovative” pricing plan). This will reduce your crowds slightly, but you will make more money, because the people inside the park will be much happier with a value added model and shorter lines. It always hacks me off when I have to pay $15+ on parking before I ever get to the park. Unless you are giving me some kind of service other than just letting me stash my car for a couple of hours, get rid of the parking fee. People are going to quickly figure out that it is cheaper to park across the street, irritating your neighbors in the process. The only winner here is the mass transit and taxis. For 15 bucks I could get valet service at most places...

If I have missed anything (and I have, so no worries there) please post below. If you have some inside information, more news, more rumors, first rides, please share with the rest of us.

From Jeff Elliott
Posted May 2, 2011 at 9:32 PM
I have been informed (by no less than my wife) that the Lady Gaga rides that I suggested were a massive FAIL. I apparently don’t know the difference between Lady Gaga, Britany Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ke$ha…….which I am frankly very proud of.

Here are some better ride ideas for the Lady Gaga Theme Park:

Meat Grinder (ferris wheel), The Egg Cups (tea cups), Poker Face (house of mirrors), Galactic Spin (spinning coaster), Just Dance (a simulator ride that mimics the sensation of being crushed by a crowd of people), Guess the Gender Game, Little Monsters Ride (the name of every other ride in the park)

From Anthony O'Neal
Posted May 2, 2011 at 10:41 PM
How about a "Bad Romance" dark ride for the Lady Gaga theme park? Scariest ride in the park.

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