Last week at your amusement park...July 18, 2011A digest of amusement park news and rumors...and a couple of rants...with a sense of humor...
From Jeff ElliottCanada's Wonderland - Just in case any union leaders go missing this week, Canada's Wonderland is in process of pouring concrete for their new 2012 roller coaster. Rumors say that it is being built by Intamin with eight inversions (which is actually 6 inversions in US currency).
Posted July 19, 2011 at 6:19 AM
Six Flags Over Texas - The fire effect on the Texas Giant debuted this weekend. Sources close to the park have said that they are planning on rebuilding and being open again by this time next year without the fire effect.
California Adventure - Over the weekend, the park has opened its redo on the main gate designed to make the park look old.
SeaWorld California - Apparently there was no gold found in the hole dug in the middle of the park. The managers of the park have decided to move forward with covering the scar with a roller coaster called Manta.
Mirabilandia - Since the Italians refuse to be outdone by the Canadians, Mirabilandia is putting up a new coaster for 2012. They haven't decided what it is going to be, but it is going to be much, much better than what those hockey playing yokels are putting in.
Dorney Park - Construction is underway for Dorney’s new inverted boomerang coaster. Let's all give a cheer for Vekoma rejects from other parks!
Kings Island - Their Vortex roller coaster broke a chain this past week and a replacement is on order. While the ride is scheduled to reopen in the next few weeks, now is a good time to remind people be a little gentler on our poor lift hill chains by not supersizing their meals before getting on the coaster. Either that or vomit before the lift hill. Thanks!
Alton Towers - The Towers is running an interesting contest where the winner gets to sit on the design panel for the park's 2013 ride. Before you get your hopes up, I realized last night while crying, curled in the fetal position, that James Koehl and Joseph Catlett are going to win anything to do with designing a ride. The rest of us can only battle for third place (or the second loser as I like to call it).
Marineland (Canada) & SeaWorld Orlando - There is a custody battle over the whale at Marineland. Apparently the whale was only on loan the Marineland and now SeaWorld wants it back. I don't really get why this is a big deal....I mean you can find twenty replacements at the McDonalds inside any WalMart.
Hersheypark - The new coaster has a name - Skyrush. The viral advertising is also mentioning LaMarcus Bros., Mid-Air Excavation, O'Connell Plumbing and Drain, as well as the Ride Institute of Technology; which means the ride is going to be themed to a mid-air rescue from a 100ft torrent of water from a broken toilet.
Disney's Animal Kingdom - Primeval Whirl is testing....until it hurts somebody new. Honestly, for a ride that was never meant to be permanent, they are spending a lot of time trying to salvage it.
Disney's Magic Kingdom - In a puzzling move, Disney's Magic Kingdom moved to differentiate themselves from a similar ride at California Adventure by naming their new Little Mermaid ride: "Under the Sea: Journey of the Little Mermaid". By stressing the "Under the Sea" part of the name, one has think that they are going to make a mint renting scuba tanks and wetsuits.
SeaWorld Orlando - Built where the Clydesdales used to roam and far away from 16 visitors they receive each year, SeaWorld has built a hospital for wild dolphins. Before you start thinking about how noble it is for Sea World to start taking in rescued wild dolphins, just keep in mind that this facility’s pool is 40,000 gallons and a small plastic bottle of water at a hospital is $35. This is definitely a for-profit venture and, as when the Clydesdales were roaming the area, quite a lot of big horse poo.
Bay Beach - Actual new article: "WWE superstars Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are seeking a thrill outside the ring by requesting to ride Bay Beach Amusement Park's new roller coaster, the Zippin Pippin. Mayor Jim Schmitt will escort the wrestling stars to the ride before they take to the ring at the Resch Center in Ashwaubenon for "Monday Night Raw." Pictures of the wrestlers on the ride will be showcased on the VIP Rider display, which is expected to be installed later this summer."......sigh.......couldn’t they do any better than WWE Wrestlers on their VIP wall? Was Carrot Top busy? Is Kathy Griffin booked? Is Lindsey Lohan back in rehab? Couldn’t they get Rosie O’Donnell out of the food court? And how did the mayor get so bored as to have to play Tour Guide Barbi?
Georgia - Actual news article: "Police Shut Down Lemonade Stand. Police in Midway, Ga., shut down a lemonade stand run by three girls. The girls were in operation for just one day last week before the crackdown; they were trying to raise money to go to a water park. Police say the children needed a business license, peddler's permit, and food permit to operate the stand, even on their lawn.".......double sigh.......the next time the cops come by my house looking for clues about that mysterious double homicide, I am going to point them down the street to the little girls on the corner doing some real crime....
Ferrari World - Actual Headline, "Smurfs descend on Ferrari World"........triple sigh...........the good news is that Brainy Smurf was able to disable the trim breaks on Formula Rossa. Although, Papa Smurf was caught huffing diesel fumes.........and I don't even want to go into what Smurfette was doing....
Bakken (Denmark) - Santa Clauses (or is it Clausi? or Claususes?) from around the world are attending the Annual Santa Claus Congress at the Bakken amusement park in Denmark this week until Wednesday. Among many other events scheduled are a parade, a Christmas gala, an obstacle course, and probably a nude photo shoot for the Santa Claus calendar. I don't know about you, but my parents taught me to never trust a fat man giving out candy and presents for free....
Tweetsie Railroad - Barney the purple dinosaur is visiting Tweetsie this weekend. Hopefully they have plenty of rope to tie Barney securely to the tracks....
Luna Park (Sydney) - 17 members of the staff of Luna Park were fired and escorted out of the park when it was discovered that an ATM machine at the park was dispensing $50 bills instead of $20 bills. After the mistake was discovered, instead of alerting management to fix the problem, the 17 staff members proceeded to empty their accounts with the malfunctioning ATM. The ATM, not realizing that there was a problem, happily took many pictures of the employee’s misdoings. The also proves that the Australian educational system is not nearly as good as previously thought. In fact, if they were really smart, they would probably be writing humor columns for theme park websites.
Comments in chronological order. Most recent at the bottom. Scroll down to respond.
From Jeff ElliottCreate My Caption - In the discussion thread in post your best caption for the following picture. I would give picture credit, but I can't remember where I got it from....sorry.....
Posted July 18, 2011 at 2:36 PM
Sources: Screamscape, Amusement Today, and whatever else I happened to read this week...
From Melissa DonahueCaption: "Scooby-Doo has an early fitting for his 'Clifford the Big Red Dog' Halloween costume"
Posted July 18, 2011 at 3:13 PM
From Robert Niles"I hate when Shaggy smokes too many bowls and buys the Hot Scooby Snacks by mistake."
Posted July 18, 2011 at 5:26 PM
From Rob P"Remember kids, even Scoobies need sun screen in Florida "
Posted July 19, 2011 at 2:34 AM
From Mike GallagherRegarding the WWE "stars" at Bay Beach:
Posted July 19, 2011 at 7:16 AM
I stopped watching WWE regularly several years ago. I do remember Marella as one of the most annoying wrestlers of that era, and Kozlov is just bland. I've heard about Mick Foley/Cactus Jack/Mankind/Dude Love being a coaster fan. Marella and Kozlov were the best they could do?
From Tony DudaCaption: "WOW, that's a really big pile of Scooby-Doo-Doo!"
Posted July 19, 2011 at 3:43 PM
From James RaoCedar Fair's Kings Island park has announced FAST LANE, their very own Fastpass system. This up-charge pass ($50 + park admission) allows park visitors to bypass the lines on several major park attractions during certain hours of the day. You can read more about FAST LANE here.
Posted July 19, 2011 at 4:35 PM
Caption... uh... who am I kidding, I've got nothing. I did not know people still played those awful midway games where you can win this kind of garbage. I hang my head in despair.
From Melissa Donahue@James - That's very interesting news about KI. Thanks for the info. Honestly though, I have to say that even if someone gives me a FAST LANE upgrade for free, I'm not sure I'd use it! None of their rides are worth the extra charge for front-of-the-line access in my book... Well, alright... Maybe Diamondback but that's it. Now, if Cedar Point offers that option, then I'm all over it!
Posted July 19, 2011 at 5:45 PM
From James RaoYeah, if my local Cedar Fair park (Worlds of Fun) offered the Fast Lane option it would have to cost no more than $10, and it would make for an even shorter day in the park (WoF is already a half day park, if you ask me). Heck, with Fast Lane you could arguably be done with all the good rides in 60 minutes or less!
Posted July 19, 2011 at 6:51 PM
From James KoehlJeff, I must take exception to your comment in the Alton Towers section about Joseph Catlett and myself winning all design competitions. In the spirit of good sportsmanship I would like to go on record and say," That is not true." Joseph is a good friend of mine (on-line) but I would like to remind you (and him) that HE'S GOIN' DOWN!!! ;+) I now return you to your regular scheduled discussion thread.
Posted July 19, 2011 at 7:13 PM
From Jeff ElliottCaption: Evil Scooby contemplating grinding Scrappy up into corn flakes...
Posted July 20, 2011 at 9:14 AM
This discussion has been archived, and is not accepting additional responses.
May we suggest the following book for holiday reading?
Theme Park Insider: Orlando 2014
Get all of Theme Park Insider's reader ratings, tips, and advice for planning a trip to Walt Disney World, Universal Orlando, or SeaWorld, in our new 2014 Orlando guidebook! It's more than 200 pages of well-tested, insider information that will help you get the most from your vacation.
Order now: Kindle | iBooks | Paperback | Kindle (UK)
Theme Park Insider Guidebooks
Top U.S. Theme Parks
Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom
Other Top International Parks
Readers' Top Themed Rides
Top Roller Coasters
Top Theme Park Shows
Features, News and Advice
2013 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2012 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2011 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2010 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2009 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2008 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2007 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2006 Blog PostsJan. Feb. Mar. Apr. May Jun. Jul. Aug. Sep. Oct. Nov. Dec.
2005 Blog PostsDec.
2004-2005Staff column archive