Dippin’ Dots – In another case of the bank betting against the repayment of a loan, Regions Bank demanded payment of the entire $11.1 million dollar loan within 48 hours and then filed a lawsuit against the company in February. The Dippin’ Dots Company did $26.7 million in business last year and is obviously good for the money that they have borrowed. But with their assets tied up in collateral against the ongoing lawsuit, Dippin’ Dots had no choice but to file for Chapter 11 reorganization in order to use the money that is being held by the court in order to pay their operating expenses. This case is extremely similar to what happened to Six Flags last year, where the bank demanded early repayment of $2 billion in loans in a week. To beak this down further, let me tell you about the derivatives market (and the first of several "learning" sections of this week’s article). Ever hear of a company named AIG and how the federal government keeps giving them hundreds of billions of dollars because they are "too big to fail"? Have you heard the news about how AIG immediately turns that government money around and gives it in extremely large chunks to the major bank chains? AIG’s major product is/was derivatives, which to break it down into human terms is insurance that a bank takes out against a loan that they own, basically a way to cover their bet that a loan is going to be paid. Well to make a long story short, the banks started realizing that the old days of helping a borrower by refinancing and allowing people or businesses in trouble by allowing them to skip payments or renegotiate terms were long gone. If the bank had purchased insurance against the loan, then instead of having to work with the borrower, they just insisted that the borrower file bankruptcy and then the insurance allowed the bank to be paid back immediately the entire loan amount. Then the banks took it one step further and started insuring their loans for MORE than what they were worth, making it a better deal for the bank if the loan failed. Thus if you ever hear of a bank giving a business 48 hours or a week to pay back a sizable loan early, feel free to bet the entire farm on the fact that the bank has a derivative taken out on the loan. Is this fair business practice? No. Then why doesn’t the government shut this down? A very good question that you should ask your congressmen once they get back from their extravagant lunch and country club golf outing paid for by the banking lobby. In some cases, this kind of business practice is actually good for the company. In Six Flags case, they were able to scuttle $2 billion in debt and get a fresh start for the company without losing any assets, while the bank was still paid with the money from the derivative. The real losers hear are the other vendors that have outstanding bills with these companies when the bank demands all of the money back, because the bankruptcy covers all of the outstanding debt and not just what the bank is demanding back. I am sure I lost a bunch of you about 4 words in, so I will get off my soapbox now, but this is what happens when people just like you turn their backs on the dirty dealings and don’t say a word about it.
Alton Towers (The Original Barbarian Country *see below) – In addition to the new drop tower in the area of Nemesis, The Towers is also getting a new 4D attraction: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. In addition to the new attraction will be the obligatory play area, themed rooms, dino burgers, walking characters, and unruly teenagers.
Coney Island (The Little Town North of Jersey that Started the Current Hippy Camp Movement) – The park made an amazing discovery this season when they found out that guests will show up by the truckload if the park is not crappy and rundown. The Six Flags board of directors might want to make a note of this.
Gardaland (The Country Shaped Like A Boot) – Much in the same way Cedar Fair received the buy-one-get-14-free deal with the WindSeekers last year, Merlin has somehow managed to get a 23-pack of the 4D attraction Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs and is now trying to figure out what in the hell they are going to do with them. Gardaland is this week’s second lotto winner! Check back next week for more winners.
News Update – The girl who nearly fell to her death a year ago in Wisconsin Dells when the ride op dropped her at a free fall attraction before the catch net was ready, took her first steps over this last weekend.
Nickelodeon Universe (Mall of America – Unincorporated South Central Canada) – It looks like Zamperla is out and Gerstlauer is in. Rumors are going around saying that the park is going to remove their Zamperla Rotoshaker ride called Tak Attack and replace it with a Gerstlauer Sky Roller; the first to be installed on the "Wild West" side of the big pond. See the video below for a demonstration....since the name Hurler has already been used, it looks like the name of the new ride is going to be "Barf Machine".
Six Flags Magic Mountain (Hollywood) – Déjà vu is coming down this week, ready to be served as leftovers for Six Flags New England.
Robert Iger’s Magic Kingdom (Florida Swamplands) – The lady who started a fight at the teacups three years ago and then decided to sue the Mouse because they weren’t able to protect her, was awarded nothing by a jury and a lifetime ban from the park
Universal Studios – A simple answer from Ron Meyer, the head of Universal Studios, means a whole lot of speculation.....a simple, yet elegant, "Yes" with no additional information.....the question was, "Are there plans to build additional Harry Potter amusement parks outside of Orlando?"
Jazzland / Six Flags New Orleans (Near the Mouth of the Mississippi River and 6 Feet Under Water) – The city deadline for bids on purchasing the park came and went with no bidders. I have $30.......
Kentucky Kingdom (Uninhabitable Backwoods Slightly North of Elvis Country) – After being rejected without a kiss, a back rub, or even a Dear John letter, Ed Hart has filed a lawsuit to get back the $1.5 million he invested into getting Kentucky Kingdom back online.
Indiana Beach (Cornfields Southeast of Chicago) – There are some bad things going on at this very quaint park. To start off with (and to catch you up to date), the season this year was closed 2 weeks early as a major snit took place between the park employees and the park owners. The major complaints of the employees were that staffing levels at the park, particularly in ride ops and ride maintenance were making the park dangerous for the guests, with rolling blackouts of rides as the same staff rotated to the different rides to open them briefly before moving on to a different briefly opened ride. The new news is that over the last week, the park dismissed most of its maintenance staff, laid off several directors, and cut power to not only the park, but also to the campgrounds. While some of this may be dismissed as cost saving moves during the off season, some of the people that were fired are claimed to be necessary for maintenance to get the park ready for the next season. It seems like Morgan RV Resorts, the new owners of the park, had no idea what they were getting themselves into when they bought the park four years ago and are now completely out of their tree. I hate to say this because I really enjoyed my two visits to this park, but I would avoid this park until we hear that things have improved quite a bit. With Holiday World, Six Flags Great America, Kings Island, and Cedar Point close by, there is no need to give this park a single cent of your money until they get their own house straighten up. It would not surprise me that the next thing we hear is that the park is permanently closed and for sale. Maybe we should get a couple of people together to convince Robert Niles to get a second mortgage on his house so we can easily come up with the $25 million we need to buy this park and run it as the first fan owned, fan run amusement park.
Dollywood (Elvis Country) - Wild Eagle has slotted its last piece in place. For all of you who complain about roller coasters without themes, this one is themed to the flying of an eagle, so quit your complaining and watch the videos that Dollywood posted.......although that Eagle is going to be really tired if it has to make that shadow every time they dispatch a new coaster train.....
Las Vegas (Somewhere Out There That Keeps Me Warm During Those Cold Winter Nights) – There are new reports coming out of Vegas that instead of the Sahara Casino getting the regular blow up and burn up treatment, they have decided that it would be cheaper to renovate it and reopen it. Unfortunately, the Speed: The Ride roller coaster does not look to be on the renovation list currently and will likely be ripped out. In other Vegas news (and since this column is by design attempting to make you laugh....as poor as those attempts may appear to be), the Heart Attack Grill has opened a new restaurant on Fremont Street, complete with the medical center theme and waitresses dressed up like naughty nurses. To be honest when I saw the commercial for the Heart Attack Grill on YouTube for the first time, I thought it was just a joke, but no, it is a real restaurant, apparently doing so well that they are expanding. Check out the commercial, and while the images are almost safe for work, they do drop a couple of slightly inappropriate for work words.....definitely a headphone moment...
More Random Stuff (In My Disorganized Brain) – I love sharing these kinds of videos with everyone.....they make me laugh....
*Note on the Original Barbarian Country – A little history lesson here. The origin of the word Barbarian came from the Greeks who after conquering their way through to what is now Britain and Ireland, upon hearing the locals speak in either Old English or the native Celtic languages were making fun of how the people talked with all of the harsh "B" and "R" sounds in the language. The Greeks were making an insulting comparison to the sound of a barking dog, as in "Bar Bar Bar", in much the same way that we nowadays say "Blah Blah Blah". Since the winners usually write the history and come up with the names, they named the locals as the people who go "Bar Bar Bar" or the "Bar-Bar"ians, or what was later shorten to Barbarians, thereby making the people in Britain the original barbarians. Since the Celts (pronounced Kelts with a hard "K" sound...not like the local Boston basketball team) were extremely vicious and brutal fighters, when the word finally made its way back to the capital of the empire, after a while the term no longer meant the people of north western Europe, but any vicious, brutal, and uncivilized fighters that didn’t play by the same rules of the Greek Empire’s fighters....and after a while it meant any foreigner. Wikipedia disagrees with me on this one....but I have it on good authority that this is a true story.....and now you can say that you learned something today.....time to go watch some more TV.
Create My Caption - In the discussion thread below, post your best caption(s) for the following picture:
If I have missed anything (and I have, so no worries there) please post below. If you have some inside information, more news, more rumors, first rides, please share with the rest of us.
Sources: Screamscape, Amusement Today, and whatever else I happened to read this week...
Dollywood just made it up to #3 on my list of parks to visit next year. That coaster looks amazing. (And no, Worlds of Fun and Six Flags Saint Louis are not #1 and #2 on my list).
Heart Attack Grill... too funny. Did they really say "mild death may occur"? Amazing. Gross and sick, but amazing.
Caption: "See what happens when you forget the touring plan, Robert?!"
