Keep in mind that this is a humor article, if you want dry news, do the research and figure it out on your own…..we aim to amuse here…..
___________________________________________________________
Disney’s California Adventure – This park will be completely closed on June 14. Although the stated reason for shutting down the park is for a media preview of Cars Land the day before it opens, the real reason is because after shutting down ElecTronica, there really is nothing to do at the park and it is going to be quietly phased out and returned to a parking lot. For those of you that like spoilers, here is a preview video of the Radiator Springs Racers:
Cedar Point – In an attempt to take over the roller coaster crown again, Cedar Point is talking about countering Magic Moutain’s new 2013 coaster with TWO new coasters. One of them is currently rumored to be a B&M wing coater like the Swarm (Thorpe), Wild Eagle (Dollywood), and X-Flight (SF Great America) to be located near Disaster Transport, and then a kiddie coaster that should be added to the Frontier section of the park. But this is all rumor at this point, we won’t know for sure until the footers are poured. The important part is the desire to give the middle finger to Magic Mountain.
Six Flags Magic Mountain – The Three Stooges are invading Magic Mountain for the month of April in a tie-in with the new Farrelly Brothers movie. On April 1, the park is hosting a contest for Stooges look-a-likes. I have $20 on the managers of the park winning the contest.
Disney World’s Magic Kingdom – Steel is starting to go up for the 7 Dwarves roller coaster. It shouldn’t be too long before we start seeing the 300ft lift hill rising out of the construction site.
Universal Orlando – The first band has been announced for the summer concert series: ZZ Top. Not that I want to complain here (well maybe I do), but ZZ Top? Really? Aren’t those guys dead? I mean I liked their music back in the 80’s, but c-mon, really? Were Bieber and Brittany unavailable because they are planning on coke benders that week?
Silver Dollar City – Rumors are already starting to surface about the City getting a new roller coaster in 2013. They are calling it Rocky Mountain Coaster and according to the rumored specs, the ride launches you at 150mph and in 20 minutes you are in Denver. Or maybe it is being put up by Rocky Mountain Coasters….who knows?
Thorpe Park – The Swarm is now open, and only 4 people since the opening have lost limbs.
MuppetVision V2 – There are some early rumors about getting a new version of the Muppets attraction going after Cars Land opens up to be duplicated on both coasts. I think if they really wanted to do this the right way, they would just retheme Mean Streak at Cedar Point to the Muppets, because with only a few cardboard signs they could have a fully themed ride that simulated having your spine broken and being gut punched by Miss Piggy.
Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk – This is the last year of the Hurricane roller coaster. At the end of the season, it is coming down to get replaced by a new and different roller coaster. Hopefully, they are not members of the Six Flags ride exchange program.
Hersheypark – The park for chocolate lovers has just slotted into place the last piece of Skyrush. I don’t know if Hersheypark really needed this ride. I would have stayed in the park for a week if they had kept up with the free sugared waffle samples.
Mr Freeze – This launched ride at both SF St. Louis and SF Over Texas is going to running in reverse this year. It is almost as good as getting a new ride. Or a clean park. Or decent food.
Six Flags Magic Mountain – Construction has started on Lex Luthor’s Drop of Doom. Demolition charges have been set near the base of Superman in order to quickly clear the area for the new ride.
Canada’s Wonderland – The first POV for Leviathan has been posted. It is definitely worth a watch if only for the bad Canadian music.
Dollywood – While Dolly Parton herself has refused to ride Wild Eagle due to some sort of odd chemical reaction between large amounts of steel and large amounts of silicon, it does seem like this is a very good ride. If you skip to a little past the halfway point of the video, there is a POV. Enjoy!
Magic Springs – Instead of adding new rides or new experiences this year, Magic Springs is adding more alcohol vendors. That way you can feel queasy and puke without the stress of having to stand in line for either of the two rides at that park.
Harry Potter Studio Tour – This UK studio tour is now open. Keep in mind that the only place to buy tickets for this is online and it is currently sold out 3 weeks in advanced. Our good friends at Disney And More posted a very good pictorial review that you really should check out (Part 1 & Part 2). If we could only get JK Rowling off her high horse and write a couple more Potter novels.
As always, my sources are Amusement Today, Screamscape and whatever else I happened to read.
Create My Caption - In the discussion thread below, post your best caption(s) for the following picture of my son, Leo, taken when he was two weeks old:
Anyone good with photoshop?
On the other hand, I am very excited about the Rocky Mt Coasters work at SDC. These guys did a fantastic job with the Texas Giant, so a fan like me can only hope that when they are given free rein to build something from the ground up it will be wondermus.
Gratz on the new addition, Jeff. Also, say goodbye to Cedar Fair and Six Flags parks for the time being. They won't be worth the effort or expense until your kid hits at least 48". Unless, of course, you like carnival spinners and grocery store merry go rounds. Good luck!
