It just dawned on me that for well over 50 years, I have gone to a theme park or a regional amusement park every year without exception. This year will break that streak. Even when the theme parks and amusement open, I won’t be going. The risk isn’t worth the returns. (Plus, my wife said if I want to stay married to her, theme parks are off limits until this coronavirus crisis is over.) So, I’m going to wait until a COVID-19 vaccine is available.
And 2020 was going to be big. My theme park bucket list certainly was going to be a whole lot shorter. One project at work required several business trips to southern California. A return to Six Flags Magic Mountain as well as a visit to Universal Studios Hollywood were in the works. Maybe I could have worked Knott’s Berry Farm into my plans. Another project had me making several trips to Cincinnati with Kings Island and a day trip to Cedar Point on tap. Hey, I could have dramatically increased my coolness factor by hanging out with James Koehl! What’s better than hanging out with James Koehl? Hanging out with Dolly Parton! I could have worked a day trip to Dollywood into my drive up to Cincinnati! (For those of you who are now making metaphorical comparisons between Tim Hillman and James Koehl and certain attributes of Dolly Parton, I want you to know that you are sick, pathetic, mean-spirited people.)
Worst of all, I signed up for the American Airlines credit card this last fall on a special bonus point offer and took several flight bumps so I could get enough airline points and voucher credits to afford first class seats to France this coming September for my wife and me. I even had her convinced to take one day out of our visit to Paris and spend it at Disneyland Paris so I could check that park off my bucket list. 2020 was going to be awesome!
But like Snoopy fighting the Red Baron, all my plans and efforts are going down in flames. No King’s Island, no Cedar Point, no Eiffel Tower, no Disneyland Paris. My vouchers expire this fall. My bonus points expire this fall. Even if they were extended, my wife won’t go near a germ factory like an airplane. Flying pre-COVID-19 was bad enough for her. Arguing with Chad H. and Brian Emery and trying to read all of davedisneys posts about the pandemic got me so depressed, I even cancelled my Six Flags Membership! (Ok, no great loss in that last one.)
I’m starting to think that I caused the COVID-19 pandemic just for messing with the cosmic balance by trying to have too much fun in one year. Is it not allowed? Is AJ Hummel the only one allowed to visit more than 5 amusement parks in one year? Was it the Six Flags membership? Did I rock the foundations of Asgard by not slamming Disney management in the TPI Comments section for the first time in nearly 20 years? Was it my professed admiration for the MyDisneyExperience app? Whatever I’m doing wrong, I promise to stop it.
Even though 2020 has turned into my Summer of George, I’m looking forward to 2021. I’m going to get my COVID-19 vaccination just like President Trump promised, and then the world is mine!
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