Here's the flip-side to my previous question about attractions that never should close.
Which rides or shows have outlived their usefulness and need to go away as soon as possible? I am talking about attractions whose subtraction would be an addition to the park by removing an eyesore, an operations black hole, a waste of good space, or an affront to the good taste of visitors.
Universal Orlando is doing us the favor of closing Hollywood Rip Ride Rocket next month, so moving down my Orlando list, I would nominate Disney's Tomorrowland Speedway and Hall of Presidents. On the west coast, I would not miss Knott's Jaguar, either. All provide opportunities for much better replacements in their space. (WDW's The Muppets Present Great Moments in American History could use a revival in a nice indoor theater....)
Which attractions would you like to see get the hook? And, ideally, what would you like to see replace them?
Most of these I understand. Even if I don't agree with most of Russell's picks, a lot are antiquated and rough. Unfortunately, I just can't agree with Pteranadon Flyers. It's not like there's a significant amount of space it'll leave behind, unless you suggest tearing out Camp Jurassic, and that's not a good decision.
For me, Jimmy Fallon and Supercharged are quick picks for universal Orlando.
Journey into Your Imagination and the neighboring 3d theater at Epcot
Beauty and the Beast show at DHS (or at least needs a major upgrade)
Goofy's Sky School at DCA
Fast and the Furious Supercharged at USF
Jimmy Fallon Race Through New York at USF
Pteranodon Flyers at IOA
Kumba at BGT
Every Vekoma Boomerang/Invertigo (not GIBs) and SLCs.
Every Zamperla Volare
Every old standard Corkscrew (VF, MIA, Silverwood etc)
Carolina Cyclone and Vortex at Carowinds, and Hurler needs the Twisted Timbers conversion
Every Vekoma Flying Dutchman (about to happen)
Blue Hawk and the Mine Train at SFOG
Ninja at SFSTL
Magnum at CP and Desperado at Buffalo Bills
Big Apple in Vegas
Not sure why you think Mermaid needs to be closed? Its relatively new and a pretty good attraction that most everyone likes, looks nice and fits the theming of the area, and is high capacity.
A few years ago I would have said HOP is one of my favorites at MK and fills a lot of needs, although i'm starting to warm up to the idea of removing it because the controversy isn't worth it (but for the love of god don't replace it with the Muppets or anything like that, replacing another great original attraction with IP would be a travesty).
Kick Rocks Journey Into Imagination. And Keep the Living Seas but it needs a major refresh
"Big Apple in Vegas"
I would have agreed with you a couple of years ago the_man25, but we were in Vegas in April, and gave the coaster a spin for the first time in over 10 years, and it was actually pretty good. They switched out the trains in 2021 to the newer Premier Sky-Rocket style trains (like Ice Breaker, Tempesto, Full Throttle, and Superman at SFDK). The trains do have the "comfort collars", but the overall ride is significantly improved from the original Togo trains and even the gen-1 Premier trains.
I think Little Mermaid in DCA is out of place. Yes, it's a fun little ride, but it just doesn't fit that space, where it was squeezed into the old Golden Dreams theater space as part of the DCA 2.0 renovation. The clone of the attraction at MK is near perfection because of its place setting in New Fantasyland and superior exterior theming, but the DCA version just doesn't have any of this and feels more like a World's Fair exhibit than an actual theme park attraction. I think WDI could come up with a much better use of this space than Little Mermaid.
@Velocicoasterfan - I think Pteranodon Flyers is a unique little ride, but in a park the size and profile of IOA it's out of place because of its limited access and capacity. I would agree that there's probably not a lot that could be done with that space without taking out Camp Jurassic, but imagine if they could figure out how to squeeze Bejing's Jurassic Park dark ride into this space (probably would be a tight fit if it were a clone, but perhaps they could design a downsized version of the attraction to fit this space.
I LOVE Pteranodon Flyers - But I only got to ride it a few times...
You need a Young child now.... I was thinking of starting a Business that will rent a child for 1 hour to ride this attraction. hahahahahahah
Tomorrowland Speedway is Trash - smells like Old Lawn mowers...
But Fast and Furious at Universal Orlando is crap. The Queue is better than the ride.
Maybe a Frank Kincaid spectacular attraction to replace it.
RIP RIDE Rocket?
@Brian - It really seems like F&F is done once the new coaster replacing RRR opens (almost certainly a similar coaster to F&F Hollywood Drift from USH), but there's always the possibility that the new coaster has a different theme (Ghostbusters rumors have been getting some decent traction of late), meaning F&F Supercharged would still have relevance to keep the IP in IOA.
I think there is a place for attractions like Jimmy Fallon, F&F Supercharged, and other C/D-ticket level attractions. You can't have a park full of headliners (something people are learning from Epic), and these second tier attractions are not only needed to fill out a park's lineup at lower install cost, but gives something for guests to do when they don't want to wait in 60+ minute lines for the top attractions. I like a bit of variety in my theme park experience, and these "lesser" rides, assuming they're still culturally relevant and deliver a smooth, comfortable experience, are different than attractions that no longer exist in the general public consciousness or are rough with antiquated or expensive to maintain ride systems.
Yeah, there's an argument to be made for C/D tickets, but that doesn't mean JFRTNY isn't a waste of space. Even if it has to be a simulator, something better could go there. There's a reason that nobody has suggested Minions or Flight of the Hippogriff of the Disney Fantasyland flat rides. It's because those are fundamentally good experiences.
Hey, don't get rid of Storybook Canals. DL visit in May, saw how kids love it those miniature homes are amazing and we need a nice quiet ride like that.
I'll say a bunch of the "carnival" style rides at DCA like Zephyr and others. They were quaint when the park opened but feel more out of place now.
I think Tomorrowland Speedway/Autopia are easy targets. How can you have an attraction in "Tomorrowland" that is so antiquated in terms of the ride system?
One attraction that has always been problematic for me is Fantasmic! at DHS. There's nothing wrong with a nighttime show or "kiss" goodnight" to leave folks with a happy finish to their evening and a reason to stay in the park until (or after) it closes - and spending money, but Fantasmic! at DHS takes up a monumental amount of space in a park that is already WDW's smallest. Also, getting in and out of the theater is a nightmare, and the Fantasmic! production at Disneyland is superior, though it's nice to have actual seats instead of trying to carve out space around RoA in California.
Some other attractions that have outlived their usefulness include:
The Beast
Magnum XL200
Vekoma SLCs (even those with the Gen 2 trains)
Pteranodon Flyers
Storybook Canal Boats (Disneyland)
Journey Into Imagination with Figment
Reese's Cup Challenge (Hersheypark)
Voyage of the Little Mermaid and Goofy's Sky School (DCA)
Stanleyville Falls (BGT)