Top new attractions at a Comcast-owned Universal theme park
C'mon, you knew that this snark was coming, after last night's rumor news
Comcast/Universal's House of Horror
Step into a darkened theater and slip on a pair of binaural headphones for this terrifying experience. You'll listen, in crystal wrap-around stereo sound, as real Comcast customers beg for the mortal lives, desperately pleading for a repair representative to visit their homes, sometime this year.
Travel to a lost Pacific island with a mad scientist who wanted to recreate a lost world, where all electronic communication travels via coaxial cable. But, of course, something goes terribly wrong
and a velociraptor eats a network cabinet.
Revenge of the Mommy
Board a Comcast "cable car" and try to flee the city, as an enraged mother who's children couldn't watch "The Madagascar Penguins" due to a cable outage chases you through the Los Angeles area.
Men in Black: Piracy Attack
You and the rest of your cable tech crew drive around the city, looking for people who are stealing cable TV connections. Shoot down the illegal cable lines wherever you find them! High score wins the polyester double-knit "jumpsuit."
Grab a handful of Reese's Pieces and try to lure an alien to your workplace, in the hopes that an alien can decipher the Comcast technical manual explaining how to use the cable provider for the office's Internet connectivity.
Got any other suggestions? See you in the comments.
The Incredible Internet Coaster.Go on a journey where you shoot out of a DSL modem at high speeds.
The Amazing Cyberspace ride.Go on a journey with 3D visual effects that take you through cyberspace
Enjoy the new ComCastic Barney Playhouse Show
How about a wait on the cable guy attraction. You have to wait in line, but your ride could start anytime between 11 and 4.
"Coming soon on 'Comcast's Believe It Or Not... Listen to recordings of actual customer service calls, from the bland to mind-bending! Decide for yourself if the problem discussed was real, or merely imaginary! Remember, only YOUR votes will determine if a technician gets dispatched, BUT -- If you're WRONG, you and your friends get locked in a room for a four-hour marathon of the old Peewee Herman show!!"
Derek, I think your attraction was real, it was RRR when it first opened, it might open it might not but stand in line and see LOL
A Day in the Park with Barney, only to be briefly interrupted with a
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