In my Orange County Register column this week, I go there and entertain what might be the worst idea I ever have had about a major theme park: Would Disneyland ever do a Christmas overlay based on the horrible 'Star Wars Holiday Special'?
When life gets too routine, we often look to the extremes for excitement. We want to ride the fastest roller coaster, go through the scariest haunt, or eat the most indulgent meal. But it's not just the biggest and the best that entertains us. Sometimes, it's fun to go slumming on the opposite end and embrace the campy fun of the worst that entertainment has to offer.
And the Star Wars Holiday Special might be the worst two hours in the history of television. If you've never seen it, my colleagues at the Register have been kind/despicable enough to embed a bootleg video of the entire show within the online version my column. We shall see if this incurs the wrath of Disney and gets the Register on the corporate blacklist, too.
I swear, people associated with the Star Wars franchise have spent more time over the years talking about how no one talks about the Star Wars Holiday Special than the whole crew probably spent putting the thing together. The Wikipedia entry for the special includes this incredible line about the show: "I'm not convinced the special wasn’t ultimately written and directed by a sentient bag of cocaine."
Hey, it was the 70s — a time when someone could pitch the idea of Bea Arthur co-starring in a Star Wars-themed television musical... and get the idea green-lit.
Why not embrace the crazy, creative spirit of the decade that gave birth to this franchise, and pass the time between now and the 2019 opening of Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge by dreaming up the most awesome, amazing, and ridiculous idea to totally ruin it... while staying 100% on theme?
Imagine a temporary, holidays-only Tree of Life in the middle of Galaxy’s Edge, with red robed-Wookiees gathered around several times a day singing about the meaning of Life Day. And then imagine the stunned, confused looks of anyone under the age of 45 in the crowd as a few older, Gen-X visitors around them double over in laughter.
Maybe, on his last day at Disney, Bob Iger can green-light this idea on his way out the door, just like that Twitter employee who deleted President Trump's account. Because the idea of a Star Wars Holiday Special overlay to Galaxy's Edge makes me laugh more than just about anything else I've seen from Disney's theme parks all year.
Is this the worst idea in the history of theme parks? (Well, at least since someone at Disney said, "Hey, let's take Figment out of the Imagination ride!"?) Hit us with your worst ideas in the comments.
Read Robert's column, and watch the entire special:
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1) Tedious holographic circus parade
2) Jefferson Airplane concert
3) Inexplicable switch to 2-D animation = Dark Ride with 2.5-D
4) Audio animatronic of Harvey Korman in Alien drag.
(singing)
It's a world of Cap'n
It's a world of Hulk
It's a world of Iron Man
and a world of Hawk
There so much to destroy, if you're a bad boy
It's a harsh harsh world...
The possibilities are endless! :)
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