Imagining Elon Musk's Tesla Theme Park

May 10, 2021, 7:34 PM · Here's a silly thought to consider. What if the next addition to the Elon Musk tech empire were... a theme park? A writer in the UK has imagined what that might look like with a blog post, 'CyberLand' - The Place Where Intergalactic Dreams Come True.

The proportions are a big dodgy in the CyberLand Map, but you get the gist of the idea - a collection of rides and other installations themed to Tesla, SpaceX, and even the Hyperloop. While it's fun to giggle over a flying Tesla Model X swing ride...

Flying Cars Swing Ride
Images courtesy leasefetcher.co.uk

and a SpaceX/Tesla Roadster-themed space shot...

SpaceX Rocket Launch Slingshot Ride

I think Musk's companies probably have more to offer themed entertainment designers in technology development than just branding IP for carnival rides. But the internal working of software systems is not nearly as much fun for the average theme park fan to think about as walking underground to board a Tesla-themed launch coaster.

Underground Tunnel Roller Coaster

Ludicrous mode, indeed. But would the park accept payment in Dogecoin?

Personally, I would be willing to contribute to the design of a Zip2 museum in the park. For those who don't know what Musk did before Tesla and SpaceX, his first company was a software venture called Zip2 that provided online "yellow pages" and city guides for newspapers' websites. When I edited the old Rocky Mountain News website in Denver, we were one of the first papers to implement Zip2's online city guide system.

Zip2's system was so wonky that I convinced my bosses to allow me to code up an alternative. For a proof of concept, I worked up an online guide to theme parks... whose descendent you are now reading.

With his serial entrepreneurship, endless side hustles, and never-ending self-promotion, Elon Musk definitely carries on a legacy established by themed entertainment pros from P.T. Barnum to Walter Elias Disney. So maybe the idea of Musk getting into the theme park business isn't all that fantastic.

Elon, if you ever want to build a theme park, I'll be there to cover it.

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Replies (3)

May 11, 2021 at 5:31 PM

The Hyperloop Train Service isn't even a loop. I won't fault you, Robert, for covering it if it happens, because that's your job. Elon Musk has a brilliant mind in some contexts, but is not a wise man in other ways. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but his are magnified due to his status. And his "Hyperloop Train Service" doesn't even connect to itself in the map on the site which shows the supposed map. It's more of a one-way trip there, and a one-way trip back. Even though the two stations are very close to each other.

But this seems like blue sky thinking that may not actually happen (and, if it does, Elon may need to learn the definition of "loop" before it comes to fruition). But if it DOES happen, I would expect you to be there to cover it fairly, because that's what someone who runs a site called "Theme Park Insider" SHOULD do.

I mean, the guy has an amazing mind, unpolished as it is, and he has proven that he can accomplish amazing things. I'm not a personal fan if his, but I can admit that much. But in seeing the design for an Elon Musk theme park, it leaves me very unimpressed compared to what other parks are already doing.

May 12, 2021 at 12:38 PM

If Elon Musk put his mind and money into a theme park, he could make Walt’s original vision of Epcot look like an early design for Mickey Mouse Park.

May 12, 2021 at 2:28 PM

Well, we do have a Ferrari World, so a Tesla-land isn't inconceivable.

Imagine if he put together a weekly TV show to promote the place - would the cast members be called Musketeers?

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