The Blog Flume Filter for February 21, 2013

February 21, 2013, 3:29 PM · Game Day – Disney Character Vault: There is a contest underway on the discussion board. Please join the fun and identify the wildly varying characters that Disney owns after its many buying sprees. The current best score is slightly over 50%...I’m sure YOU can do better.

Disneyland – There is less than a month before Fantasy Faire opens up at this park. For those of you who really like watching people paint, look at blueprints, and give interviews all while wearing safety goggles, this one is for you…

In other Disneyland news, the monorail short circuited and was closed for a spell on President’s Day. Rumors claim that the short circuit was caused by an errant coin dropping out of a guest’s pocket as they were being held upside down and shaken for every last penny in their pocket. Having a coin get away and short circuit a major attraction is extremely rare as usually Disney can catch anything resembling money before it hits the ground.

Disney Parks – I guess I really have to file this one under “I don’t get it”. I realize that I am not in the right demographic nor even the right gender for this…but…I still don’t get it. Disney is releasing a line of cosmetics exclusive to the Disney theme parks under the name Beautifully Disney. Maybe I don’t get it because Walt was not what I would consider to be a beautiful man. Maybe I don’t get it because the logo (as seen below) features a non-descript princess over the top of a frowning evil queen. Maybe I don’t get it because the different cosmetics are named after different Disney characters. Maybe I don’t get it because it reeks of crass consumerism aimed at little girls. Maybe for the boys they can come up with a park exclusive line of different colors of spray paint for the male inner-deviant mind to start tagging walls with. Maybe “Oswald Dancing in Mickey’s Blood Red” paint, “Uncle Scrooge’s Vault Gold” paint, or “Paddle Alice’s Hide For Wondering Off Blackish Blue” paint.

Beautifully Disney

Epcot – At least Disney is starting to figure out that waiting until 20 years (or more) after a movie has come out before building an attraction to it tends to lessen the impact of the investment. Before the movie has even come out (although the argument could be made that the movie actually came out in 1939) they have thrown together a kids play area with a little bit of theming and called it an attraction. While kudos to them for getting on the ball so quickly, shame on them for ruining a slide so that they could slap their advertising on it.

Disneyland Paris – Minnie Mouse celebrated the 20th anniversary of Disneyland Paris by going out and buying an expensive, customized, jewel laden, Alber Elbaz created dress from the Lanvin fashion house. Sigh. And we wonder why Disneyland Paris is running low on funds. In other news, Star Wars is now confirmed to be coming to the park in a big way with Star Tours 2, a Jedi Academy, the Cantina and hints about a Phase 2 that may have even more Star Wars goodness.

Walt Disney Studios Paris – The next attraction has been confirmed to NOT be Toy Story Mania. With all of the Star Wars stuff going on at the other park, one can only imagine that the next thing in line would be something from the Marvel Universe.

Star Wars – The deal is done for Harrison Ford to return to the Star Wars Universe as Han Solo. Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher (Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia for those of you who have never gotten past the mucky first three movies) have also been rumored to be in the know and while not signed yet, it is merely a matter of paperwork at this point.

Monsters University – Here is the latest promo for the movie. I don’t know about you but an improv club is just about scary enough for my tastes. It puts chills down my spine just thinking about it.

Mickey Mouse & Roger Rabbit – I looks like the original writer and creator of Roger Rabbit has been brought on board to a new animated feature film, called “The Stooge”, pairing M. Mouse and R. Rabbit in a buddy comedy about a mouse who has lost his audience and is trying to get it back. The news said that the proposal is currently with Pixar/Disney, which to me can only mean that John Lasseter is currently looking at it. This seems like a pretty good idea to me to bring back two long unused characters in what sounds like a pretty good premise. But do keep in mind that the difference between proposal and movie is like the difference between an empty lot and the Taj Mahal.

Coney Island – After figuring out that residents and tourist alike will flock in droves to Coney Island as long as it is not a creepy, decrepit, crime-littered place and has rides that are thrilling but not because you think they may fall apart while you ride them, Coney Island has decided to increase its thrill quotient by adding in a skydiving simulator, 50-foot climbing wall, rope climbing obstacle course, and beer. I am looking forward to what happens after someone has a little too much to drink and then gets on the skydiving simulator.

Long Island Aquarium – How bad is it when the zoo keepers have absolutely no idea what is going on with their charges? I mean it is bad enough that they put a female and male river otter together in the same exhibit and then name them Peanut Butter and Jelly. But it is even worse when you have no idea that your animals were pregnant until you enter the exhibit to find 4 more otters than were originally expected. Then, to make matters even more worse (worser? worstest? worstacular?), rumor has it that the new otter pups were named Salami, Roast Beef, Ham, and Swiss Cheese.

Six Flags Magic Mountain – Vertical construction on Full Throttle looks like it will begin this week. Ba da dum de daa, Ba da dum de daa, ba weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Ba da dum de daa… (see last week’s update for some kind of key to the humor)

DreamWorks Animation – This animation studio is working on opening not one, but three indoor amusement parks in Russia. They are also aiming for an opening that beats Universal’s plans for their Russia debut by three years. For two companies that occasionally share the same bed, they are really ruthless to each other…they act like they are married.

Universal Studios Hollywood – While you probably already figured this one out months ago, it has been officially confirmed that Despicable Me is coming to the park. We still don’t know what the mysterious middle attraction is between Despicable Me and Harry Potter, but we will keep you posted.

Universal Studios Singapore – A candidate for the best new attraction for 2013 is gearing up to open on March 1st. It is called the Sesame Street Spaghetti Space Chase. The plot of the ride is to help Super Grover and Super Elmo battle against villains who stole all of the spaghetti and noodles on Earth. Where the %$^&#% were rides like that when I was a kid??

Universal Studios Florida – Potterverse London – The Hogwarts Express seems to be two tracks side by side instead of one track with a bypass in the middle. With very little other information out in regards to the Hogwarts express, this had to be reported just to mention it.

Orlando – Orlando made the first cut to host the Olympics in 2024. Now keep in mind that the decision is nowhere close to being final and there are still 35 other cities in the U.S. alone that are still in the running. But it is still fun to theorize what the events would be, knowing full well that if Orlando hosted the Olympics, it would really be Disney hosting the Olympics. Space Mountain Climbing. Lifting Mickey’s Wallet. 1000 Meter Backstroke through It’s a Small World. The Hammer or Discus throw from the Teacups. Most equestrian events could be done from the carousel. Please feel free to come up with your own ideas and post them below in the feedback section. [Editor's note: Post 'em on Twitter, too, with the hashtag #orlandoolympicevents. If we could get #disneybudgetcuts trending nationally, we can do this one!]

Sources: Amusement Today, Screamscape, Ain’t It Cool News

Replies (5)

February 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Next up for Walt Disney Stdios Paris will be a trackless (a la Tokyo's Pooh) dark ride based on Ratatouille. Marvel is still looking unlikely for the resort just yet. (Though I sincerely hope they one day link it up with the long-rumored plans for a water park...)
February 21, 2013 at 9:15 PM · I had a guy in a comic shop try to convince me that Spaceship Earth was going to be redone as the Death Star (because Epcot is like the most boring park anyway and no one goes there). Also, Universal lost the rights to Marvel back in December.

I don't even know what to do with people who say things like that.

February 21, 2013 at 11:26 PM · Steve, do you think that was the Second Hand News Guy on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update?
February 22, 2013 at 9:27 AM · "(because Epcot is like the most boring park anyway and no one goes there). "

That reminds me of the classic Yogi-ism..I believe Mr. Berra was speaking of a restaurant when he said "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded."

February 22, 2013 at 12:59 PM · They should redo the entire park and turn it into Star Wars.... Epcot is extremely boring. Disney does have the Marvel rights, but they cannot be used east of the Mississippi (hence Orlando) and Universal does not have to remove anything from Marvel Super Hero island or change any names.

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